#hes my internet dad uncle im sorry
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james-is-nasqueer · 1 year ago
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youtube
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daisyy345 · 1 year ago
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how your instagram would look like if you were dating spencer pt4
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yourusername
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liked by ssahotch, derekm69 and others
yourusername beach day after the case 🌊☀️👙
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derekm69 i bet he drowned
emprentiss i bet he got sunburned
boywonder hey have a little faith in me
yourusername u r both correct
boywonder dont tell them that!!
pennygirl couple goals 💘
davidrossi looks like fun 😀
meangirljj invite next time 😒
yourusername u r always welcome babe
yourusername
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yourusername spence thinks we are ready for masterchef 😐
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boywonder we are!!
davidrossi im so happy my cooking lesson’s are paying off ❤️
yourusername learned from the best!
derekm69 omw to sign u both in
ellegreenaway 🫶🏻🫶🏻
emprentiss bring some to the bureau
pennygirl this
yourusername ofc my loves
ssahotch 👏🏻👏🏻
yourusername
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yourusername corporate needs you to find the diference between this picture and this picture
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emprentiss they’re the same picture.
yourusername thank u my love i knew u would get my reference
pennygirl aww henry w his uncle spence 🥺
derekm69 there are no differences
ellegreenaway they have the same expression lol
meangirljj thats spencer now and spencer when he went to college
yourusername lmao u r so real for that
boywonder i love spending time w my favorite nephew ❤️
yourusername baby he is ur only nephew
boywonder so…?
yourusername
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yourusername w my gymbros 🏃🏼‍��️
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boywonder 🤭
derekm69 and u don’t invite?
yourusername no
emprentiss stop running from ur problems guys 🙄
pennygirl looks… promising
meangirljj 🫡🫡🫡
ssahotch get. back. to. work.
yourusername yes sir
yourusername
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yourusername he is literally a child
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boywonder but you still carried me
yourusername u threatened me to carry u
emprentiss REID????
boywonder dont believe everything you read on the internet
derekm69 he is
pennygirl okay questionable
ssahotch seriously?
boywonder sorry dad
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gavagecunctation · 17 days ago
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upd8 re8ction
so it is tavvy i knew it. im surprised yiffy managed to get 8way seeing as like last we saw her she was 8eing yelled at 8y harvris 8ut it checks. i love tavvy and yiffys duo. we 8oth know we weren't meant to 8e 8orn.
(P.S. I left you guys some trail mix. Don’t pick the raisins out; they’re healthy.)
he's so silly. 8rother of all time. or uncle i guess
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love his fuckass rich 8uoy sigil or wax seal or wh8tever
(sorry for the num8er of 8s this upd8 is really fucking me up for reasons you'll see on like the next panel)
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cool panel love the composition love the everything. harry and vris look so silly. their heads are 8igger than jades. rose you're so 8ad at your jo8
harry stop 8eing a pussy. L.
this is the first time im actually enjoying the idea of tavvrissy 8eing kismeses and not just a guy and the 8oy she 8osses around
VRISSY: And neither is that Arrog8nt Hivewrecking 8ITCH!
HEY DON'T CALL ME THAT
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this panel. just gorgeous. and 8lso heart8reaking for me. 8ye dad and fuck you to the anonymous shooter.
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oh so N8W you do your jo8 . another 8anger panel. the choice to make rose shadowed/grey against harvris' regular colors is interesting to me. she's re8lly lost all her light huh
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shed a single (8rave 8oy) tear. rip dad
was talking in the hs8c discord a8out whether this would 8e heroic or not. someone 8rought up that it could 8e just 8ecause of jades homewrecking which yeah i 8elieve. also the w8y she was trying to manipul8 the narrative could 8e seen as just. sad day for me i wanted candy jade and ult dirk to talk theyre 8oth so thematically simil8r
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the sweat is interesting. does she know jade is dead? pro8a8ly. does she regret it?
may8e. most likely not
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another 8anger as usual i love hs8cs artstyle
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this shot is pretty interesting to me. is that the 8ell tower where dirk died? why is it glowing white? is cave the point under it too or is the 8attermaid using it as a vessel for the 8eam? lots of thoughts
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yiffy and tavvy are not dead that's all i know for sure. they would not die they're too important
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i really thought the flash would end act 1 8ut this is cool as fuck too
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W8?????
these fucking pages loaded l8 for me oh my god. hs union you rascals
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gavageCunctation [GC] began negging adamantGriftress [AG] 801 MINUTES AGO.
ayyyy its a deltrit8n. delta detritus hey did you know detritus means trash 8ecause for the longest time i didnt and now i feel stupid
801 minutes = 13 something hours. that's many imo 8ut you do you hs8c
this guy's really interesting. i think the delta kids (petition to call them that) are going to 8e 8ased on 2020s internet tropes. gc seems to 8e 8ased on a tum8lr user of some sort.
GC: if i'm being honest we cooked hard with this GC: haha... tag that shit i'm fussing... GC: AA (that's oomf)
my proof for the a8ove st8ment 8ut also this reads like a millenial desper8ly trying to speak like a gen z/alpha kid (which i guess it is). i cant tell whether "i'm fussing" is aave or not
i'm curious though how did they get vrissys handle?
gavageCunctation's [GC'S] computer exploded.
L + r8io
gc defo has a crush on vrissy which is funny as fuck to me. go girl 8r8k up with your technically uncle gc is right there!!! you can do 8etter!!!
aa seems interesting i get the feeling they're pro8a8ly in contact with ultrose or at least that sort of rose-rezi stand in of the session due to how it seems like they have some sort of seer a8ilities
GC: um anyway she's like an oracle... GC: except she's not an oracle. GC: she's some other shit...
you guys get what i mean? oh aa could 8e like jade too as in they could 8e awake on prospit and thats why they know all this stuff
GC: yet i still stay up to my buccal mass
a sea species so this is one of roses delta kids neat
ok done for now 8ye
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magnoliamyrrh · 2 years ago
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Hey, sorry, just adding on to the pile of stories from the Balkans. I also grew up with family groping me and being uncomfortable with it, but never being allowed to say anything against it. My mother and father often made sexual comments about me, or when I went through puberty they would occasionally grab at my breasts and butt and comment on them. It's mostly stopped now, thankfully. It always felt so invasive and in general I hated how much focus there was on if I was growing up beautiful or not. My grandparents often did so as well. Whenever I would try to make any of them stop, show discomfort, or have a negative reaction I would get treated as if there was something wrong with me and I was being rude. Looking back I can't believe just how much we have made this sort of behavior normal. Ugh. Family members should not be calling children sexy under any circumstances. There is no possible reason for there to be discussion around a kids genitals. This should not be normal and so many of us shouldn't have stories like this. I'm glad to hear other's speak of it but it has made me so disgusted. We really are taught to ignore any bounderies
heyo anon <3 no need to apologize. yea its.. jfc. this whole thing has left me disgusted too. and frankly, baffled. i just feel so baffled. i keep trying to wrap my head around all of it, try to make some damn sense of how and why, and yet all it leads me too is just.... bafflement and being grossed out. when i asked on here if anyone knew what i was talking about i was not expecting this many ppl to get it. i wasnt sure if anyone would get it
im sorry u went through this, it really is a fucked up way to grow up. and the gaslighting that goes on - bc i rly do think thats what it is - tends to rly mess with your head. its immensely messed up that somehow in all this its children who keep being blamed and made to feel bad for.. v much having normal reactions to things. its a very jarring feeling to know something is just.. wrong. and not be allowed to feel that way. im sorry again that you were put through this, tho i am glad its no longer going on; i hope eventually you'll be able to heal from it all <3
and youre right. were very much taught to not have any sort of bounderies with our bodies. weather its this shit or the beatings or generally being treated as if were property, were really raised to not have much of a say.... it sets a very bad precedent and teaches a very bad and dangerous lesson
i was thinking abt this last night actually. when i was around seven or eight i would spend a lot of time with my cousin at my uncles house. he was some years older than me, by five i think. we used to get along well because i was a tomboy and he didn't make fun of me for it, he liked it. but i remember this one time he started showing me sexual games on the computer they had, some game in which you would give virtual money to a woman to see more of her naked, and it just made me feel so gross. i never looked at him the same, i felt he thought women were just pieces of meat. other times i remember laying in bed with him and he would want me to show him what's under my clothes, though he never took it further than that i don't think. he would occasionally grope at me but basically everyone did that anyway. i remember being upset with him, and him taking me to the candy shop down the street to make up for it
i always wondered if he had been abused first because i found out later his dad had molested another family member of mine. but looking back maybe it was the things he saw on the internet or from other boys. anyway, i tried to tell my mother and grandmother about it but they never took it seriously. never even scolded him. "boys will be boys" mentality and i was told i was being dramatic and shouldn't take it to heart because it's normal for boys to do things like that sometimes. it was normal to be felt up by family in general i guess bc. idk this culture is a fucking nightmare sometimes. now when i see him we just pretend it never happened i guess. it really is fucked up how much this sort of behavior is normalized, excused, and frankly defended at the expense of the saftey and comfort of kids... like what lesson does this teach other than, its ok to let people do whatever they may please with you, regardless of how much you dont like it? it must be some form of grooming i swear to god
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evanstanwhore · 3 years ago
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proud
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pairing: dad! sebastian stan x evans! mom! reader
summary: sebastian gushes about his daughter on jimmy fallon… nothing makes him prouder
warnings: use of y/n and implied birth i guess? chris sounding like the best uncle to exist… bc lets be honest, he would be
wc: 768
a/n: this was written on my phone so im not sure abt the quality but its sweet… enjoy!
my other evans! actress! reader one shot… still planning on a mini series!
“Your daughter was born not long ago, right?” Jimmy Fallon questioned, turning to Sebastian with a smile. He was passionate about the movie they were previously speaking about, his eyes were already shining but at the mention of his daughter, his eyes shone much brighter than before. A look of pride washed over his face.
“Two months ago yesterday” Seb nodded proudly, the memory of meeting his precious little girl filling his mind.
The sound of a baby’s cry filled the room as you fell back against the hospital bed, breathing hard, tears rolling down your cheeks. It wasn’t just any baby’s cries. It was yours. Your little girl.
Over the crying, the faint whispers of Sebastian’s words filled your ears. He was crying too. “I’m so proud of you” He repeated
The moment the midwife place her in your arms, happy tears spilled from your eyes. “I’m so proud of you,” Sebastian said pressing kisses to your head, your shoulders, your neck, arms wrapping around you as he looked down at his daughter, a few tears rolling down his face.
“She’s beautiful,” You say, close to a whisper as you smile down at her.
“She looks like you,” He tells you as your daughter's hand closed around his finger. Wiping your tears with his other hand, Sebastian smiled as he kissed you. “Thank you.”
His smile grew wider when Jimmy held up the photo you had posted to Instagram of your baby girl's tiny hand holding onto Seb’s finger. You’d both decided to keep your baby’s face off the internet for as long as possible… for her safety but a part of you just wanted to keep her to yourself. Your’s and Sebastian’s perfect creation.
“She seems tiny” Jimmy chuckled
“Oh, she is. Very tiny. Definitely her mother’s daughter… Y/n’s words, not mine” He laughed, finally looking up from the photo.
“Chris Evans was on the show a few months ago he said he was pushing for the name Chris despite her being a girl.”
“The sad thing about that is he was being completely serious. We said no everytime” Sebastian said, unable to tone down his smile. “But we did compromise with a another name he suggested—“ He stopped abruptly before chucking to himself. “I wasn't supposed to admit Chris suggested a name Y/n fell in love with. Sorry, Doll” Seb looked into the camera, knowing you were watching at home in bed probably with your daughter in your arms fast asleep.
“Elora is such a beautiful name” The audience cheered at the mention.
Elora Georgeta Lisa Stan
Although her name might sound long, it means a lot to both you and Sebastian. Having both his and your mother's names as her middle names meant a lot to both of you.
“So, tell me about her”
>><<
The house was quiet as Sebastian climbed the stairs and walked down the hallway towards your shared room. The door was open, the room was dark except the faint glow of the tv.
A smile rested on his face, seeing you laying in his shirt fast asleep in the middle of the bed. It was clear you tried to stay awake, your phone still in hand as you slept peacefully. He pressed a kiss to your forehead before turning to the bassinet where Elora stirred. He knows he probably shouldn't but he picked her up anyway.
Seb kissed her forehead with a happy, content smile as he rocked her slightly in his arms. Elora’s bright blue eyes stared up at him, taking in his face with her little smile. “You're happy I'm home?” He whispered, kissing her forehead again.
“I am” You respond tiredly, opening your eyes to smile at him.
“I didn't mean to wake you” Sebastian smiled lightly as he sat down against the headboard where you had propped yourself up.
“I’m glad you did. I love watching you with Elle” You say, smiling up at him while taking your daughter's hand in your own. “What you said about her to Jimmy... it was sweet. You made me cry”
“At what part? When I talked about how proud of you I am?” Seb questioned with a slight smirk, knowing he hit the nail on the head. Every time he said it, every time he thanked you, you would cry.
“Don’t even start, Stan” You glared playfully.
“You know what we have to do now?” He asked, pulling you into him and pressing his lips to yours in a sweet kiss. You raised an eyebrow in question. “Give you the same last name as me and our little girl.”
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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years ago
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me, nodding of to sleep: IM HERE IM HERE
did my head just loll to the side? you will never know. first of all this chapter was the most beautiful thing i have ever read. Mavid have my HEART. It's also 4 16 am so im sorry if the reactions are a little bland but this was PERFECT.
me, throughout the whole thing: mavid mavid mavid
They had kissed for the first time almost a week ago. And they had kissed again. A couple of times.
Okay fine, they had kissed a lot since then.
Not a lot a lot. But a lot.
Wait a minute. How much kissing was a lot of kissing?
this is adorable
“I heard he cried when he found out Lexi and Liv were dating,” David chuckled.
yup that's jace
“We have to pay to talk on the phone?” Max asked incredulously. “I thought it was free.”
“Of course it isn’t free, Max!” David chuckled. “We have to pay for WiFi too.”
“This is ridiculous!” Max said. “Next you will say we have to pay for electricity.”
“Um, we do have to pay for electricity,” David chuckled again.
we pay for water too
but max you didnt know-
“Don’t let them guilt trip you!” Max had chastised. “They like doing chores. Let them do it. They fight demons all day and then come home and do chores. I feel like it’s their form of therapy. They need this.”
cant relate nope
“I don’t know,” Max groaned. “My family is so dramatic.”
the lightwood-banes in one sentence
THERE ARE SO MANY FEELS MY HEART CANNOT CONTAIN
“Well, too late!” Max announced. “This date is going to be the best first date in the history of first of dates.”
In retrospect, he really shouldn’t have said that.
nah its gonna be great
“Perhaps you should just take him to the New York Library. They have, uh, books.”
yes that is what they keep in libraries
OH MY GOD THE FRIEND IS ELYASS
HERE'S MY FAVORITE DEMON Y'ALL
His parents would not be pleased if they knew Max was summoning demons for relationship advice.
But they had also encouraged Max to make friends with everyone regardless of their identity. So, technically this was their fault. They gave him very mixed messages.
well-
you know i really shouldnt have laughed at the demon attack news but for some reason i did
i blame my sleep deprivation
shit i feel sick
you know maybe i shouldve just waited till the morning...
ok but the demon attack is NOT coincidental
there is something going on
“I thought dragon demons were extinct!” Max yelled over the commotion.
well-
ANJALI
“Man, fuck the orders!” Max said in frustration.
if you get hurt ill kill you
oh it's not her
well fuck
“That was an Armani, you piece of shit!” Rafael yelled at the demon. Max almost laughed.
THE AUDACITY
It really did. Dragon demons smelled like they lived inside a boys locker room.
well that's nice to know
FUCK THEY ARE TALKING NOW???
ok what is going on
“Say the thing!!!”
“I’m not saying the damn thing, you maniac!”
“Say the thing!”
Rafael groaned and raised his hands, the alliance rune lighting up.
“I’m not just a shadowhunter,” Rafael said through gritted teeth. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.”
LMAO THEM
“Well, demons are stupid,” Max pointed out.
“Yeah, that makes sense,” Rafael said with a mouthful of food. “You are half demon after all.”
Im so sleepy i cant even react to this
but THEM I CANT-
WHERE.IS.ALEC
Max wanted to laugh. Only David would worry about another person while being injured in the infirmary.
MUST BE PROTECTED
Max nodded; his throat still dry. He couldn’t stop staring at David. At the wound. At the blood.
Also, maybe the naked chest.
AHEM
OH MY GOD JAIME IS ALIVE
we're getting lightwood-bane fluff LET ME CRY
alec...
on one hand alec smoking is fucking hot BUT WITH THE MUNDANE DISEASES OH HELL NAH
“But it tastes so good when it’s from your plate!” Max said with a mouth full of food.
“Oh, you want my food? Here!” Rafael grinned and threw a piece of chicken at his face.
Max caught it with his mouth cause wasting food was a crime. “Thanks, bro!”
“You little s-”
HE CAUGHT IT IN HIS MOUTH
“And no fighting over chicken!” Bapak pointed out. “We can always summon some more.”
“Order,” dad corrected. “We don’t summon. We order. And then we pay.”
“How do we destroy capitalism if we have to pay for everything?” Max asked.
Max has a point y'know
“That’s rich coming from someone who is wearing an Armani jacket,” Max stuck out his tongue.
“It was a gift!” Rafael said, furiously chewing on his chicken.
“Does that mean Bapak is a capitalist?” Max asked.
LMAO
Max: What even-
Max: Can shadowhunters get high on iratzes lol
CAN THEY???
David: Mr Herondale yelled “Yes! Two out of three!”
MOOD
PLEASE RAFAEL AND MAGNUS ARE LIKE "About time"
SAME THOUGH
“David is what you get if Dad and Uncle Jace and Uncle Jem had a baby.”
STOP NO
“Oh,” Max said. “Uh, David and I…We are dating.”
Dad choked on his coffee. “Excuse me?”
Bapak chuckled next to him. “Of course you didn’t know.”
“You two are dating?” dad demanded. “Since when? Who else knows about this? Why didn’t you tell us before? Were you dating when you were in London? Magnus, did you know about this?”
“There you go!” Max yelled triumphantly. “That’s the dramatic reaction I was looking for. Thanks, dad!”
There's alec. Yup
OH MY GOD NOT THE SEX TALK
good thing i had wattpad I MEAN-
“Kissing?” dad gaped. “On the mouth???”
“Um, where else would we kiss?” Max asked incredulously.
“Well, actually,” Bapa cleared his throat. “There are many ways you can enjoy-”
IM CACKLING
And that’s how the next hour turned out to be the most painful and most embarrassing hour of his life.
Max decided he would rather get attacked by a hoard of dragon demons than sit through it any longer
“You guys know we have something called the internet, right?” Max demanded.
“Well, the internet can have mixed messages,” Bapak sniffed. “We on the other hand have real life experien-”
“Magnus!” dad looked red in the face.
“Fine,” Bapak sighed. “Now moving on to the importance of lubrication and-”
“I’m begging you to stop,” Max groaned.
THE NOISES WHICH LEFT MY MOUTH ARE NOT OK TO BE MAKING AT 3 30 AM
“I’ll have you know this conversation utterly traumatized me. I demand financial compensation.”
HE'S SO DRAMATIC
“Well,” dad said carefully. “David is…”
“French?” Max asked.
i blame my sleep deprived ass for laughing at this
next thing i know someone's being tortured and im laughing because i dont have sleep in my system
Max honey...
listen to him
i for one, dont want a repeat of pg 511 cols
oh he's finding out about the incident
that's what i call it
Max thought of all the stories he had heard then. The one of the warlock who killed people who he could bring back his dead girlfriend. The one about a nephilim mother who paired up with prince of hell to bring back her dead son.
oh yeah...
shudder
They called it The Jem effect.
AYYYYY
It was true. In fact, he used to have a crush on both Tessa and Jem. It’s how he had found he was bisexual.
very very valid. have a good day sir
AWW MAX DIDNT KNOW HE COULD BLUSH
you know it's a sign ive been watching b99 too much that i was imagining mina talking like gina...
pls send help
ALSO MINA BESTEST SDCHJDFVYDYUGFYUGFVDYVFD
“Can we not talk about my boyfriend’s sperm, please?”
im surprised my parents havent woken up by the sound i let out
BUT HEY THE DOOR'S CLOSED SO
SUGGENS MINA
“I’m hearing an inflated sense of self-importance,” he heard Ragnor call from the bathroom. “Is Magnus here?”
“Just the spawn,” Max called back.
THE SPAWN BYE-
“He is married to the Consul!” Tessa chuckled. “And one of his sons is a shadowhunter.”
“It’s still very bad for our reputation,” Ragnor grumbled. “He is too close with shadowhunters.”
“You are the headmaster of Scholomance!” Catarina said incredulously. “You teach nephilim! Even though you don’t need a job!”
“I was coerced!” Ragnor huffed. “Manipulated by the children of the angel.”
really ragnor?
The grin disappeared and Ragnor buried his face on Catarina’s shoulder. “I can’t go through this again, Cat! Not again!”
“So much for not taking up after his father, huh?” Catarina chuckled and looked at him. “That’s nice, Max. We are happy for you.”
“We are not!” Ragnor said in a muffled voice.
RAGNOR DJHDCUHUKIHDVVFDDB
OOOO MAX DIDNT KNOW ABOUT CAMILLE
a kind of endless love...
dont make me cry
“I know you are worried, love,” Tessa’s voice was a whisper. “You are worried about surviving after David. You are worried about your own heart. But you should never let that fear stop you from finding love. Because love is what sustains us immortals. It keeps us alive. When you love a mortal, you love them forever. You might not remember all the memories. The colour of their eyes or the sound of their voice. But you will remember the love. You will carry that love inside you forever. It does not make you weak or fragile. It makes you stronger. And you will forever be grateful for it.”
my eyeballs are too tired to cry
stop it
THEY SAID I LOVE YOU
I FEEL LIKE A PROUD MOM
bitch you hate children wtf-
Max laughed. “I’m going to kill dad for making us do this. God, this is so weird!”
better get it done now
HE'S DAVID'S FOREVER
dont do this to me at 4 am
“You should two should some spend time together. Get to know each other and all of that,” Max suggested with a smile. “Maybe you can bond over archery or something.”
“I’m pretty sure he would use me for target practice,” David mumbled.
“Don’t be ridiculous, David!” Max said incredulously. “My father doesn’t need target practice!”
At this point, a David and alec scene isn't a want its a NEED
“I got it all planned,” Max said – for someone who had no idea what he was going to do.
me throughout life
max Rafael isn't the one smoking-
OH MY GOD MY DAD JUST CAME TO CHECK ON ME THE WAY I SLAMMED MY LAPTOP
“Also tell him to stop smoking!” Max pointed out seriously. “It’s not good for his health! Especially with all the mundane illnesses going on.”
“I know, Max,” dad sighed heavily and blinked. “I mean, I’ll talk to him. For sure.”
Alec if anything happens to you...just know ill raise hell
“I don’t want easy,” David smiled. “I want you.”
IT'S 4 AM DUDE
AYYY THE SHANGHAI SHADOW MARKET
CELESTIAL PALACE
“Dad? The Consul? That dad?” David looked surprised and relieved all at once. “Oh my god, he doesn’t hate me!”
“Of course he doesn’t hate you!” Max chuckled. “But he did say he will put your nerd ass in the silent city if you don’t bring me home by 11.”
of course, he did
oh my god SLEEP. there is so much to do tomorrow dying...my grammar was really bad and I don't have what it takes to use Grammarly's corrections except for the ones it's already doing as type.
this chapter had my heart BURSTING!! AHHHHHHH
the talk was so important I'm so glad they took care of that. ok imma head to bed now BYEE
Eeeeeee this was a lot sfkjdfkd I hope you are okay. Get some sleep next time or I will call the police.
Thank you as always for reading, reacting and supporting 💚
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disaster-fruit · 4 years ago
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could you tell us more about the brarg family au with the 3 babies and trans luci?
I definitely can! This au has been living rent free in my head since i started that drawing and I was actually sketching more stuff for the AU right before I got this ask so- I definitely can ramble more about it
This was supposed to be just a collection of a few hcs and now it’s a multi-pages word document the size of a fanfic so – Im really sorry.
I didn’t think a lot about their backstories tbh, though I have it in my mind that Luciano transition in his late teens and that he and martin either met after that or knew each other before luciano came out, lost all contact, and then met again after (and you can blame oxiosas fic for that yeah im not even subtle)
But I imagine them having some sort of meet cute and kinda progressing really fast in their relationship without realizing – yk, its just a fling, no big deal, yeah ive met his parents, yes I basically spend every weekend in his apartment, yeah I have a spare key now, ops I guess we’re adopting dogs and plants together- oh I think we’re married. Yeah. We’re married.
Ok but for real Luci does the proper proposal-with-a-ring-and-knelt-down-on-a-special-day thing and Martin is just bright red saying yes over and over again
It is Afonso (port) the first to be all WHERE ARE MY GRANDCHILDREN like… the night of their wedding.
They live in a house in a not too big city with two dogs, one cat, one parrot and all the birds that Luciano feeds and names that aren’t actually theirs. Still, they choose the house with two spare rooms because they always talked about having two kids.
In this AU they can buy a nice house and don’t have to worry about money and can raise kids like the world isn’t ending.
I think right after they got married they got in line for adoption. However, everything indicated that it would take a long long time so they started talking about the possibility of trying to have a biological kid. I think luci was the one to suggest it when he noticed martin had been thinking about it but not saying anything for a while.
Lots of boring doctor visits and confused doctors looking at luciano and trying to process it like the dumb cishets they are. Boring exams and all that, but everything is on track eventually, luci pauses his hrt and keeps his jockstrap on the drawer and they’re googling the best positions for fertility on those weird cishet sites and doing it like bunnies etc etc
Getting pregnant the natural way after years of testosterone is not the easiest thing in the world, so it takes a while. But eventually it works.
Both of them are kinda freaking out with this whole first pregnancy thing. Martin is the ultimate protective husband, and spends way too much time on the internet finding out what luciano can and can’t eat, what exercises he should do, and going to every single doctor visit. He’s very committed to it.
Luciano has to drink non-alcoholic beer and hates life. There’s a single teardrop shed every time he buys it. And drinks a lot of lemonade like it’s the same as caipirinha. Poor guy. Martin doesn’t help on that, life isn’t fair, he buys his own beer.
But he also has to drive absurd lengths to find the weirdest fruit or make the most hideous, blasphemous pizza toppings because Luciano is constantly craving absurd shit. But poor baby actually really NEEDS that chicken M&M pizza at 8am.
They’re super proud daddies though, and both their instagrams at this point are just baby belly pictures. Luci had top surgery on this au on my hc so also. Lots of shirtless pics. He looks like an old uncle with a beer belly and he’s PROUD. Just. Baby bellies all over.
Martin picks the entire baby layette. Because of course he does.
Their baby shower is a huge deal though. Their dads are there, Antonio brings an entire trunk filled with diapers and tells everyone how many tincho used to need when he was a baby, Afonso is cooking for everyone and talking about how he’s gonna be a grandfather (!!!). Iracema (pindorama) is scolding Luci about his bad habits while also quietly being a super proud grandma. Zola (angola) bought toys because she knows that’s what kids actually like, Samero (Mozão) keeps asking if they installed all the necessary security stuff in their house – we will, chill, we still have some months to go – Vera (Tomé) is teasing Simão (Timor) about him no longer being the family baby, Fatima (g.bissau) is another one who bought a huge amount of diapers, Rosinha (cabo verde) is taking pictures of everyone and everything, Sebas and Dani are discussing if the kid should speak Portuguese or Spanish, Maria brought a huge pink plushy as a gift, it’s quite a party.
Once they’re late in the pregnancy, Luciano mostly spends his time on Martin’s oversized t-shirts asking for foot rubs and not getting much sleep because the baby keeps moving. Martin on the other hand is a little nervous about being a dad, but absolutely loves feeling the little kicks and talking to the baby all the time, except when its 3am and he wants to sleep but Luci cant because of it so he just does his best to keep him company. He mostly ends up falling asleep on his chest though and doesn’t help much
I wrote all of this but I still don’t have a name for the girl lol Anyway, she’s finally born, and if martin was overprotective when Luciano was pregnant, he’s ten times more with his baby girl. Tbh theyre both kinda going crazy with this whole parenting thing, both are overprotective, tired, and have no idea what theyre doing.
Zola and Sebastian are the girl’s godparents. Sebastian isn’t very good with kids so when he takes care of his niece he either puts on a tv show and lets her eat whatever crap she wants, or relies on Daniel to do the actual taking care, since he is good with kids.
Luciano and Martin are very much neurotic first-timers and have all this schedule of what their girl can eat and when and when she has to sleep etc etc.
When Zola takes care of her, she just ignores it and does it her way. She helped raised Luci since he was a baby anyway, he survived just fine and even married and reproduced, she knows what to do better than both the dumbasses, and they never even find out.
Afonso on the other had follows everything when he’s with his granddaughter, determined to be a better grandfather than he was a father, and the baby loves him so he’s doing a good job.
They’re a very cute family yes yes
She grows up well and happy, a bit shy maybe but very smart and sweet, loves the dogs and her aunts and uncles and granddads (afonso more than antonio though)
By the way, Iracema is soft like butter with her granddaughter.
When she’s about four or five years old they start talking about having a second one, considering the age difference and all. So back to doctors, Luci stops the hrt again and they go back to trying, but again it’s not the easiest thing in the world to do it naturally after years of hrt.
But god listens to the prayers of such good catholic family, and right after they start thinking about a second child, they receive the news they will finally get to adopt a baby.
Luciano is the one to receive the news, he’s working at home when the social worker comes to tell him they can finally adopt. He’s extremely happy, he hugs the poor lady and is barely able to concentrate as she explains the paperwork that is left and the details of it because he can’t stop smiling.
He immediately texts martin saying something like “CALL ME RIGHT NOW WE NEED TO TALK” and it’s in happy caps but martin understands it wrong and thinks someone is dying or dead but then his phone is what dies so he gets home as fast as he can thinking all the worst scenarios just to find luciano jumping on him with a smile for ear to ear. It’s such a shock he takes a while to react but when he does you have two idiots so happy they can’t function.
It’s another girl, she has big brown eyes like her sister and it’s a few months old.
They quickly reassemble the crib and paint the second room to get everything ready in time to take her home, and the next week or so it’s nothing but all the family visiting to meet their new baby.
Since they managed to adopt, they decided to stop trying to have another kid. Luciano goes back to the doctor do some routine exams so that he can go back to testosterone and the doctor just awkwardly explains that, well, that won’t be exactly possible. Not for the next eight months, at least.
He’s quite shocked at that, and takes him a while to tell martin. They just got a new baby and do they even have space to raise three kids? Eventually it just escapes from him and martin is shocked as well, but ultimately both of them are just worried about their place being too small, and once they relax about that they can’t shut up about having another baby on the way to anyone.
Still, it’s not easy to manage, martin is just as worried as he was with their eldest, except that this time he’s simultaneously worried about their new baby and about Luci’s pregnancy. Poor dude needs a break asap. So he’s trying to do most of the work of caring for a little baby to spare luciano from the stress, while also taking care of him as well as he did the other time.
Luci is more chill about being pregnant, he’s done this before, he’s fine. He’s even a little too chill about it, as shown in the art, he still wants to carry their kid on his shoulder and having a few sips of martin’s beer is no big deal and honestly he’s fine, he can help with the baby, and Tincho just needs to relax and it will all be fine.
Again, poor tincho needs a break.
Some things don’t change though. Them being super proud daddies who do nothing but take pictures of their kids and Luci’s belly every chance they get. And they’re really happy and excited to have their house full and this big family.
Just a good cute family AU where nothing bad ever happens thank you very much.  Yet it took me almost 2k words to say it. I have no self control and I’m very sorry. However, if anyone has their own hcs to add about this whole au, I will be more than happy to hear and talk about this AU even more than I’ve already done.
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ducknotinarow · 3 years ago
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Brooklyn fiddles with her fingers, shyly approaching the other,
“Uhm, Uncle Tony?” She speaks, soft and unsure as ever, “Sorry to intrude but, well, may I ask you something?” 
She rocks back and forth on her feet, waiting for an answer. After a second, she clasps her hands together, fingers interlocking a little,
“Uhm, well, you’ll need to excuse my language, but ... did you fuck my dad?” 
[She has discovered the internet. Shut it down immediately she’s too pure to know what shipping is xD she just did a google search and found so many things u_u]
"Uhm, uncle Tony?"
Tony lifted up his head from the work bench when hearing he was being called out too, finding Brooklyn the latest edition of the Rogers group of the team. She was at least the least of trouble between the three and no where near as much a hazard as Nina and Steve. In some sense of thar wording at least, course he was about to be proven wrong, very wrong.
"Sorry to intrude but, well, may I ask you something?"
He shrugged and pushed off from his desk letting his chair slide over with the motion as he did arms crossing over his chest one the chair stopped rolling. "Shoot kid im all ears,"
Watching as Brooklyn rocked back and forth on her feet and played with her hands, slightly concerned now. Did she get put up to this by chance? Course even with a warning Tony was not ever going to guess the next words out of her mouth.
"Uhm, well, you'll need to excuse my language, but... did you fuck my dad?"
Tony just had a distance stare glaze over his face as he needed a moment to understand this was Brooklyn who said it to him, and to think over said question in general.
"JAVRIS, I thought she wasn't allowed online?!" he asked trying to wrap his head around what she asked standing up from his chair, ignoring Brooklyn all together now as he directed attention to the AI of the tower. "Did Nina show something?! or let her have her access?" before turning back to Brookyln "it's America's ass not stark industry's ass."
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apollodankaciyorum · 4 years ago
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if its okay can i ask you a question about turkey/people from turkey, its the term 'racializated' used there? its something uhm that is taked into consideration there? let me explain you, im from argentina, my mom is a black brazilian women and my dad just like i dont know 70% of my class is what people from usa for example call 'brown' latinos, like dilan for example of skam es, i and many poc people call those people instead of 'brown', 'racializated' many of them feel and me included tbh+ 1/
+feel the term is not really correct or many friends feel uncomfortable with it so they rated 'racializated', im not sure if you speak spanish there is this person @/haluami they is a indigenous person who wrote very good texts about this topic there is one about racializated people, and basically society put you down because of your skin color, traits, and / or ethnicity, so i can't help but wonder if thats the case of yousef, but im not turkish so i understand concepts change+ 2/
+depends on the country, culture, etc i understand all of that, so i have a lot of doubts because i dont want to break the privacy of course of the actor of yousef but i wonder if the character 'take' stuff about him or if they are statments in the show itself, i dont know, the poc term itself have some stuff people agree or not, its all a very complicated situation i still believe the show treatment to non-white males is bad i dont know but i will hear and see others opinion the 'white washing'
...
well first of all, I want to say that I’m not an expert on these issues, but I also think that I can answer your questions to some extent, at least I will try my best. and I hope I don’t offend anyone, please call me out if I do so (that’s for my fellow citizens of turkey) so here I go: (sorry it turned out to be so long)
1- I haven’t heard the term ��racialization” before, so I looked it up and I realized that I know what that is, just I wasn't familiar with its name. From what I get, it means ascribing stereotypes on people about their races. So if that’s what you mean, then sure, we have this in turkey unfortunately. but i’m not an expert on sociology and other sciences regarding this topic, so any other Turkish person could heard this term, just not me.
2- Turkey is an ethnically rich country, I don't know if you know the historical developments but this is the shortest way to address this, we have a lot of different cultures here, but not as much as the times before the WW1. Nowadays, there are Turkish, Kurdish, Armenian, a small amount of Rum (orthodox christians whose descendants are from the Byzantine Empire), Laz (similarly their descendants are from the Pontus Rum Empire which was located in the northern region of Turkey, but they are mostly Turkish nationalist muslims rn) people and other small communities of different cultures. well I'm rambling lol :))))
3-well some of these people accept these “racialized” prejudices when they are not offensive (from what I get at least) for example some of Laz people accept that most of the Laz people have some familiar facial features or some Kurdish people joke about how their uncle/aunt is younger than them due to their family structure etc. but mostly this racialization occurs in an offensive way like calling Kurdish people terrorists (bc of PKK, a Kurdish (terrorist) military group -- this is a way too controversial topic, so I won’t be mentioning this again, I don’t want to talk about this, sorry) or denying Armenian Genocide (again, this is a controversial topic too and interestingly recent although this issue regards the events during and after WW1) so to answer your question, yes there is racialization in turkey.
4- about yousef: well I watched sana season on February 2019 so I can’t remember all the details about him being from Turkey. I just remember he went to Turkey at the end of the season and I kinda remember that he wasn’t a muslim although his family practiced Islam, but I’m not so sure so I’ll just assume I remember correctly. 
5- Yousef isn’t a man of color. there are darker skinned Turkish people for sure but having a lighter skinned Turkish actor to play a Turkish character is NOT white washing. because there are lighter skinned Turkish people too. I don’t really know what comes to mind when you (I mean non-Turkish people) think about a Turkish person, but from my perspective, I can’t really draw an average Turkish person for you. there are caucasian looking Turkish people, there are mongloid looking Turkish people, heck there are afro-Turkish people too. So, yep Yousef is not white-washed. He’s not even white. AND I certainly call that he’s too white to be considered as moc. but I’m not an expert, just an ordinary Turkish woman. 
6- Most recently, Turkish youth tend to leave practicing Islam and instead become atheist or deist or agnostic. I can guess why, though I’m not sure if I should say it but you can search it from google, pretty sure you can find the answer :) So, Yousef being an atheist/not Muslim is a really good rep for Turkish youth bc I’m sure that most people assume Turkish people are %99.9 faithful muslims.
7- However, I can assure you that Yousef does not reflect any racialization happening in Turkey. I wouldn’t want a Norwegian internet show talking about these issues too, but I would really like if Druck (German SKAM) dwelled upon these issues since there is a big Turkish community (I’m talking about a near million in number, maybe more) and there are huge issues of/regarding Turkish people that could be reflected in national tv, and I would like to see a more politically active/woke Turkish character (in a Jonas sense) in Druck (because since 2012-2013, the amounts of politically active youth is increasing more than ever, bc what’s happening rn in Turkey -again, you can just take a look in Turkish news- ) but assuming from the appearance of Ismail Inci (new gen Druck character) this is not the case, one can only hope for deeper (by deep, I mean not just this goofy guy who only talks about kebab or girls or Turkish/German rap) Turkish characters though :(
8- I don’t know much about the actor but he sounded fluent in Norwegian so I can assume that 1) he was born in Norway or 2) they moved to Norway when he was younger. and from that, I can guess that he’s not familiar to racialization as much as a Turkish person living in Turkey and that could be the huge reason why Julie and the crew didn’t give Yousef a chance to dwell upon these. 
9- and I know I told you this, but if someone else tries to read this whole thing, Yousef is not the Turkish version of the name, it’s Yusuf (both u’s are read staccato) and I don’t know why his name is Yousef instead of Yusuf.  
wow, I didn’t expect this to be a giant, but I hope I answered your questions. and I’m not a Spanish speaker (although I want to learn but my only source is Duolingo bc I'm broke) I won’t be able to follow your blog recommendation. I’m really sorry for taking this long and writing this long. Thanks for seeking knowledge about us though, it’s not something I usually encounter with and it felt validating and good. So thank you too! Have a nice day (or night? it’s nighttime here)
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tillman · 4 years ago
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I just saw your post about Tristan and Isolde. I will be honest, it was something of a surprise to come across a teenager on the internet defending Mark, of all people. Truly every generation loves a villain... if it's not Kylo Ren it's King Mark!
okayt. okay i am finally emotionally prepared (tipsy) enough to answer this ask  afte.r. 
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an unknown amount of time. so here. here is my IN DEFENSE OF MARK post before the tea hits and i getg drunk for real:
1 he is funny. i think this si avalid point to defend him on. hes fucking weird and funny and a nut. thats it. 
2 in the beginning of gottfried and . thomas. and uhh well the courtly branch actually he is legally asigned TRISTANS DAD. this is really downplayde in a lot of stuff but in gottrfied specifially he is made tristans dad LEGALLY and he very much is proud of this and dodes a lot to like... u know.... dad him. hes cool. it addsa lot to his decent into hating him later and i think the choice to remove this aspect of him really donwplays a lot of marks nuance and charm in the first place. he is just a dude shoved into this situation in which the two people closest to him are lying directly tohim over a matter he literally would have been fine with. 
3 in the texts hes also very... sympathetic. which i like to bring out cus i think its weird everyone just ignores it fully. i WILL ADMIT mark is a fucking bitch. he tries to set isolde on fire. he in some verisons kills tristan which then kills isolde. he just kinda sucks hes  very ... shitty. i dcant think of a good word think of like.... devious but devious implies hes the one doing it on purpose u know. anwayys marks like..... decent into this evil character is always as like a . he was .... led into it ? like..... like people who hate tristan and isolde are alwasy teh ones to like taint his mind and amek him distrust the people closest to himn. in the beginning he has NO PROFF they r fucking yet still is distrustful cjust cus... he.... like. doesnt want them to be. he wants to trust them both so much but he canttt you know. you know.
4 his name is mark and thas tfunny 
5 hes like .. nice :-) hes nice!!!!!!!!!!!! go look at tristrant . hes like friends with arthur tahts so funny hteyre FRIENDS hes friends with most of the court. 
6 in the post vulgate he for some reason (well reason: galahad called him a whore once) after camleot falls is like. well cool. and goes to camelot and burns it all down and destroyes everything. he commits HATE CRIMES !!!!! CANONICALLY!!!!!!!!! HWAT OTHER ARTHURIAN CHARACTER CNA SAY THAT!! he went to joyous gard and destroyed lancelto and galehauts corpses cus htey were homos. BRO WHO ELSE CNA SAY THAT> i lov eit its so fuckung ufnny. its the post vulgates excuse for why camelot and whatver istn around anymore IM PRETTY SURE but its so funny mark is canonically homophobic how doy ou not love that in a man. i love that in aman thats so funny..
7 anwyays i think hes fun. hes not kylo ren hes not some weird pissy baby hes just tristans weird uncle who didnt even want to marry in the first plaace btu was constantly lied to by thw two most close to him in the world and that led him down teh deep edn and now he kills t[opele... in most tales hes honestly so fucking upset over tristan and isoldes death he has them SUPER honored. in als monc. mocnh ? monch? hoqw od you spell taht one. anwyays in tristan becomes a monk he is SO UPSET over the idea tristan dies he drops his whole charade and immedietly is like isolde im so fuckiugn sorry are YOU okay. its really upsetting i like amrk so ufkcuing much OH my god the world is spinning hi 
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purplesurveys · 4 years ago
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1024
What would you say is your favorite food? Sushi. < Ahhh, this is a good one. My favorite is down to a tie: it’s either chicken curry or burgers.
What color eyes does the person you like / love have? Are they pretty? Dark brown. I’m not too sure what the second question is referring to but yeah, she and her eyes are both pretty.
What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Hi-5, omg. That show was my life in preschool and I always watched the 12 NN replay as soon as I got back home from school, back when I was still on a half-day sched. I was so hooked I remember having legit tantrums before starting Grade 1 because grade school meant full days in school and thus having to miss out on the show entirely.
Do you like Mexican food or any other foreign foods? For sure. All my favorites are Asian (Indian, Japanese, Indonesian, Chinese, etc.) but I also enjoy Italian, Mexican, Greek etc cuisines. I generally haven’t tried African cuisines but I really, really want to.
What color is the keyboard you are currently using? The keys are black with white lettering.
Do you own any of those ‘chunky’ and cute rings? Nope, not my style.
What are you planning on eating for dinner tonight if you haven’t already? I saw my dad cooking up something deep-fried; it was like his own version of katsu or something, or maybe it’s fish fillet? I’m not too sure what it is yet but I’m excited and will probably eat lots of it as I skipped all my meals and have only been running on coffee and vape all day - not good.
Do you own an iPod or MP3 player? If so, when did you get it? Technically I still do. Haven’t used it since high school. I got it when I was 10 back in ‘08; I was envious of the kids in school who had iPods, so I asked my dad to buy me one even though I wasn’t super into music at the time. Not the best kid in the world.
When was the last time someone took your picture? Last Saturday when my package came. Apparently online deliveries now require your photo to be taken upon receiving your package and I think it’s for the seller to keep track of their transactions. I’m not a big fan of the new procedure, but it’s whatevs.
Would you rather write a report or type it on a computer? Type. 
What color was the last jacket or hoodie you wore? Gray.
Do you receive more compliments or insults on a daily basis? Neither, really. I haven’t been talking to people a lot; and when I do it’s for work, where I receive neither compliments nor insults.
Who is the lead actress / actor from your absolute favorite movie? Audrey Hepburn and Albert Finney, or Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.
Can you recite the alphabet backward? [continued from last night] Slowly, but I’m sure I can finish it.
Do you eat chili when you get a hotdog, or do you like it plain? We don’t do hotdogs with chili here. I generally don’t see chili much where I live and I wouldn’t call it a common dish.
Would you say it’s easy for people to make you smile or laugh? At first I thought it was, but I’m slowly realizing that it isn’t.
What would you say is your favorite cereal, if you even like it? Cookie Crisp is the only one I like. I don’t have cereal often.
When was the last time you went on vacation? Where was it? It was a quick weekend getaway to Tagaytay and then Cavite, if it counts.
How many states have you been to in your lifetime? Zero.
Do you and your friends normally say you love one another? Yep, especially with Andi and Angela.
Have you ever been an outcast at your school or anywhere else? I was definitely one in early grade school, and again in Grade 6 when both my closest friends migrated in a span of six months, and I spent nearly all my lunch periods alone. Looking back on it, I’m really glad I powered through and made it here because I truly wasn’t happy at the time.
Do you own any dresses? If so, what colors are they? I have lots of sundresses and little black dresses because I was into those for a very long time at one point. Some of them are black, obviously, but I also have dresses in blue, maroon, and olive.
Would you say you drink more pop / soda than you should? I never drink soda as I’ve always felt like I spend more time complaining about how drinking it feels like burning my tongue and throat than actually enjoying it.
Would you rather have orange juice or milk with your breakfast? Water.
How many different colors has your bedroom been painted? Just one. The walls have been white ever since we moved here 12 years ago.
Do you cuss? If so, do you ever cuss in front of your parents? I’ll slip in front of them sometimes but I never get in trouble for it anymore.
Would you ever tell your mom about the things you’ve done sexually? Our humor together can be raunchy sometimes but I don’t think I’d ever do this. I dunno if she wants to hear I’ve had sex with a girl either.
Is there anyone out there who can make you cry very easily? Yes.
What was the worst news you’ve heard this entire week? *In the last week, hearing about the typhoon’s effects in other cities didn’t feel good. This entire country is literally only getting by with donations from the private sector because the government isn’t doing shit for cities and families who got severely affected by the typhoon; it’s almost depressing to hear and read about.
Have you ever been in a car wreck? I’ve been in minor car accidents but it would be too much to call any of them car wrecks. They had all just been tiny bumps or thuds.
Do you have your ears pierced? If not, what do you have pierced? Yes, my mom had my earlobes pierced when I was an infant. I don’t plan on getting any more new ones as I’m not really into piercings.
Has anyone ever told you that they think you have ADHD? Nope.
What is your biggest pet peeve? When people reach out first via text/IM then even if I get back to them in 5–10 seconds, it takes them a long time to get back to me. It’s especially annoying if they classify it as urgent, I drop everything to reply quickly, then they end up disappearing. Like why?
Do a lot of people understand you completely? Who does exactly? No, I like keeping a wall up. 
Would you say you’re really good at cooking and baking things? Haha no. But it’s something I want to be skilled in, definitely. I’d love to be able to make the food I usually just thirst over on the internet. I’m taking baby steps, like figuring out how to make certain sandwiches, but I have a long way to go before I can consider myself any good.
How is the weather outside right this second? It’s been a little cloudy this morning but it might start to get fair seeing how I’m beginning to see the sky turn blue. I’m just hoping there won’t be too much sun, period.
Do you have a lot of trees around your house? What about buildings? No buildings as I live in a gated village. We have a number of trees around, but I wouldn’t call it ‘a lot.’
Would you say either one of your parents are 'pack-rats?’ No. I have that title, and I believe I inherited it from my great-grandmother who was a bit of a pack rat herself, as I’ve been told.
Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? Kinda. I don’t associate with one of my uncles because he has a terrible drinking issue that he never got to permanently fix. Whenever I see him at family gatherings he just smells like stale gin or whatever it is he drinks, and it just ruins the essence of family reunions for me. As recent as Christmas Day last year he drove drunk and crashed into a car with an entire family, but as always his ass got lucky because 1) no one in the family got hurt, and 2) said family let go of the lawsuit they were planning to file against him.
Have you ever seen That 70’s Show? Do you watch it regularly? I tried watching the first episode but genuinely could not find it entertaining for the life of me. Sorry, Mila :(
If you could choose, what decade would you rather live in? I never really think about revisiting decades - they’re already behind, so what’s the point? As bad as the 2020s have been looking, I’m okay with staying here.
How often would you say you get sick? Once a year at most.
Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? I used to wish they would die, but I don’t feel that way anymore.
Has anyone ever called you a socio-path before? I don’t think so.
When was the last time you watched a movie in theaters? December.
Have you ever moved to a completely different state before? We’ve moved to different regions before.
Do you mind it when surveys ask you really personal questions? No. Isn’t that part of the point of surveys?
When was the last time you told someone you love them? Thursday or Friday I think, when Andi said it to me first and I said it back. I wasn’t having a good day and they were just looking out.
Which one would you like more: kiss on cheek / kiss on neck? Depends on my mood. Right now a kiss on the cheek sounds nice.
Does it bother you when people steal your stuff on MySpace? This never happened to me because I had Myspace for such a short time and I never caught it at its peak. Also, how do people steal your stuff over there? That’s pretty intriguing lmao
Do you have freckles? Do you like / dislike them? I don’t have any.
Who would you say is the best actor / or actress in your opinion? My biased ass would rally for Kate Winslet all the way, but some other great ones for me are Toni Collette, Emma Stone, Jodie Foster, and Natalie Portman.
How many times have you been drunk in your life? Many.
What would you do if the last person you kissed said they hated you? Be confused and ask them to give me a few concrete reasons. I don’t think too highly of myself, but I know I’ve never done anything to make me deserving of hate, especially with regard to us.
Do you ever think you might be pregnant? No, it has never been a worry of mine.
When was the last time you acted really immature? The weekend.
Do you enjoy watching comedies or horror movies more? Horror. I never watch comedies and the only subtype of it that I watch is romcom.
As a child, did you ever have an imaginary friend? Yeah but it lasted all of five minutes until I got bored with the concept.
Does anyone call you baby? Who would that be? No.
Can you rely on one or more people to take up for you? I have no idea what take up means. If this also means ‘stand up for me,’ then yeah I can.
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parkersvibes · 5 years ago
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finding out peter is spiderman
read part one here
a/n: omg guys. i got so much feedback from you all on part one so i decided to make a part 2. and yeahh i really hope you guys enjoy. if you do lmk and i’ll do a part 3 (:
(i also apologize if the read more doesnt work )))): )
warnings: fluff, a smidge on angst
pt 2. peter parker x stark!reader
• figuring out he was spiderman
• alright you’re a stark
• but no one knows that
• but you’re really intuitive
• so there were little things you started to notice
• after uncle ben died there was some weird shit (if you want a part ab comforting peter ab uncle ben lemme know. he deserves his own part)
• like how he stopped wearing his adorable glasses
•and i guess started almost bulking up????
• he got WAY taller
• and usually you’re used to seeing him shirtless but this one time you walked in on him
• holy mother of god
• IT WAS LIKE HE GREW ABS OVER NIGHT
• BECAUSE FRESHMAN PETE DID NOT HAVE A 6 PACK
• freshman peter also got winded walking up the stairs
• AND NOW HE’S RUNNING LAPS IN GYM LIKE ITS NOTHING ??
• must be nice
• but then things got more sus
• all of a sudden he was skipping class more
• leaving early
• cancelling study sessions and skipping movie nights with ned
• and you and ned were clueless
• you and ned started hanging out more
• MR. LEEDS IS HILARIOUS LEMME TELL YOU
• he was like this little ball of happiness
• you found out his real name is Edward
• HOW CUTE
• and WOW HIS MOM BEING FILIPINA MEANT THAT YOU WERE BEING FED ALL THE TIME OH MY GOD
• ngl pete got a bit jealous
• one night,,, when pete cancelled YET AGAIN
• ned asked you, “hey y/n?”
• “hm”
• “why don’t we ever hang out at your place”
• “i told you ned, my family is just a lot yanno. plus your family and may are really cool”
• “okay but how come you don’t have any social media under your name?”
• “wdym?”
• “like you go by ‘y/n Smith’ but everything that pops up on the internet isn’t YOU”
• “pfff i told you,,, i dont believe in that stuff”
• “y/n, you know you can tell me anything”
• you wanted to be honest. this was one of your best friends. and you’ve been lying to them about your family for over a year now
• “ned i just. it’s complicated”
• “like peter’s family?”
• “nonono, i’m lucky to have both of my parents- well i have a step mom. my real mom wanted nothing to do with me. so she left me on the steps of my dads house. never came back”
• “oh shit bro, i’m sorry”
• “nah don’t worry. my dad is really cool and my step mom... she’s awesome.”
• “what’re their names”
• NATASHA WAS GONNA KILL YOU IF SHE COULD SEE HOW BAD YOU WERE STRUGGLING
• “well- uh- my step moms name is,,, um. well her real name is Virginia”
• THE WORLD KNEW PEPPER AS PEPPER NOT VIRGINIA
• “and my- my dads name is ehm... st, steve???”
• natasha was gonna have your ass
• “y/n,,,”
• “yeah”
• “you’re a horrible liar”
• “PFFF WHAAAT? NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT”
• “dude you left your spiderman fan tumblr open on my laptop that one night,,, and i MAY have done some snooping”
• okay you mightve had a slight obsession with the webslinger. HE WAS COOL. and what better way to keep track of him without alerting your family,,, good ol tumblr
• oh god ned, HOW MUCH SNOOPING”
• “enough to know that you have a weird obsession with that spider guy and that your last name isnt smith”
• so you told him the truth. you were a stark
• and well,,, he reacted with
• “okay cmon,,, don’t lie”
• so you showed him your late night dance parties with Nat when she was feeling goofy
• and your random snaps of steve when he was trying to figure out how to work technology
• videos of you reacting to vines with bucky
(if yall wanna see domestic life with the avengers just lmk)
• which usually results with THE WINTER SOLDIER ALMOST PEEING HIS PANTS. and trying to reenact it with sam or the other avengers
• “heyheyehy y/n guess what?”
• “what bucky?” *is in the middle of doing hw*
• “FRESHOVACADO” *bolts out of the room before you throw something at him*
• only the two of you getting vine and meme references
• (meaning getting in trouble during meetings bc you’ll make eye contact and start laughing)
• OH HIS FAVORITE IS THE “country boiiii, i love you,,, 😛”
• anywaayyy
• ned was SHOOK
• “nowayohmygodyoureanavenger”
• “no ned,,, only when they need me to be”
• *led to him asking 100000 questions*
• “does Mr. America smell like old man”
• “what language does Ms. Widow think in”
• “how many shirts does Mr. Hulk own”
• “so do they wear normal clothes or are they always PREPARED”
• “does your dad have to walk a weird way when hes in his suit”
• “do they ever chafe in their suits”
• “yes ned. we’re stocked up on baby powder”
• which you didnt mind bc it felt nice telling the truth
• ned WANTED TO TELL PETER SO BAD
• “ned no, i don’t want him to think of me differently”
• he understood. but still defended peter and said that hed still treat you the same
• anyway,,, peter started showing up with bruises and stuff which had you v concerned
• “pete what’s up? you’ve been avoiding ned and i and you have skipped out on every movie night since sophomore year started”
• “t’s nothing. dont worry ab it”
• “peter cmon, it’s just me”
• you figured maybe it had to do with ben??? but you gave him his space. you just wanted to be there for him yanno. you didnt want him to shut you out
• “Y/N I SAID ITS NOTHING. FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN YOU LEAVE ME ALONE???” he snapped (and not in the good way)
• and this was on your way to class so the whole hallway heard
• ouch
• so you left him alone. probably more than he meant. but it hurt
• i mean he was your first friend here, and now he yelled at you to leave you alone
• ned felt awful at first. trying to comfort you and tell you it wasnt your fault
• but then he started acting weird. whenever you brought up peter hed be super antsy about it
• you- “i think he got into another fight or something”
• ned- “pFFT PETER? FIGHTING? no way,,, i got-i gotta go”
• so you figured that whatever peter was hiding, ned knew about,, which also hurt your feelings
• so you closed off
• and wow could the super family tell something was wrong
• wanda- “little stark, i can feel your sadness all the way to my room”
• sam/bucky/rhodes- “okay what’s the deal, we’ve played 5 rounds of fortnite and you havent once rage quit even though you’re doing terrible”
• tony- “kid, what’s wrong? everyone here can tell you’re not feeling great”
• nat- “cmon. ive given you 3 opportunities to kick my ass and you havent once complained about me going easy?”
• thor- “lady y/n what is causing you distress? not once have you smiled, i even wore my hair in pigtails,,, and that seems to always do the trick”
• and you gave the same response every time “‘m just tired” “lots of homework”
• they noticed you werent going out on weekends anymore
• so tony figured that your friend group and you were having some Stuff
• pep gave him an idea of meeting his new prodigy
• now tony knew it’d be kinda sus because peter went to midtown but he figured that if the kid kept his mask on it’d be fine
• “dad i don’t wanna see another one of your weird maid robots”
• “wha- no i want you to meet someone”
• “dad college isn’t for another 2 years. if it’s your friend from MIT-“
• then right before your eyes was the insect boy that youve been admiring through the internet
• needless to say
• your jaw dripped
• “y/n meet spiderling, spiderling meet my daughter y/n stark”
• *seconds pass*
• “i uh- oH- um- sp-spidERman, h-hi. biG fan of you- your work”
• *silence*
• you- “oH dad diD you hear th-that? moM is calling mE”
• tony- “what?? pep wouldve called on the interco-“
• spiderman- “y/n”
• you- SHOOK TO THE CORE BECAUSE YOU KNEW THAT VOICE. THAT WAS THE VOICE THAT SOUNDED LIKE HONEY BUT COULD CUT YOU DEEPER THAN ANY WEAPON IN YOUR HOUSE
• you- “p-peter???”
• tony- *shocked pikachu face* “you know each other???”
• you- “so-something like that yeah”
• peter takes off his mask
• “ohmygodpeterisspiderman”
• “ohmygodyourlastnameisntsmith”
• tony- “im gonna let you guys figure this out” *walks backward slowly*
*insert silence*
• you- “so this is what you were hiding, huh?” with a cold tone
• “IM HIDING? YOU LIED ABOUT YOUR WHOLE HOME LIFE TO NED AND I”
• *yelling at each other for another minute. even though you couldnt hear what the other is saying*
• you- *yelling loudest “I DIDNT WANT YOU TO SEE ME DIFFERENTLY OKAY”
• peter- “you really thought id do that?” (heartbreaking voice)
• you- “i- once i got to know you, i knew you wouldnt but i was scared. i didn’t know how to tell you. for once in my life i had found someone my age who liked ME for ME. not for my name or money or my dad. and i didn’t want to change that. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner”
• peter- “... i get what you mean. after ben died everyone gave me that look. except you and ned.”
• you- “why didn’t you tell me”
• peter- “everyone i love or ever cared about dies. my parents and then my uncle ben. so once i got my abilities i knew that the risk was even higher and i didn’t want to put you in that position. i wanted to keep you safe. but it seems like you know how to handle yourself” (referring to the fact that you grew up with THE EARTHS MIGHTIEST HEROS)
• y/n- “so how come ned found out?”
• peter *scratches back of neck* “well- he- i- May let him in my room and i happen to be crawling on the ceiling in my suit and he dropped the death star” *head hangs in shame*
• you had to giggle at that i mean CMON
• you stepped closer to him
• “pete you’re my best friend. you can tell me anything okay?”
• “no more secrets?”
• “no more secrets”
• and you both pinky promise and your thumbs “kiss” bc IF THEY ITS THE ULTIMATE UNBREAKABLE VOW DONT @ ME
• peter parker gives you the biggest hug that maKES YOUR HEART JUMP BC PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH A PERSON AS PRETTY AS HIM MAKES YOUR HEART FEEL A CERTAIN WAY
• but you wrapped your arms around his neck and enjoyed the moment
• wow he is really cozy
• * the avengers are watching from the cameras in awe*
• led to MANY questions at dinner
• and so everything went back to “normal”
• it wasn’t until you went to bed that night that you realized peter said the L word
• WHAT
• so much for no secrets
taglist: @silver-winter-wolf @emmmmszy @everythingaboutnothingsstuff @rexorangecouny @wishiwasanavenger @marjoherbo @nologinisoksothatsit @mindset-jupiter @hpnjrph @soup238
some favs/mutrals: @h-osterfield @starksparker @stuckonspidey @sunshinehollandd @keepingupwiththeparkers @hey-marlie @spyder-bites
267 notes · View notes
witnessprotectionau · 5 years ago
Text
By M’gann
Welcome one, welcome all! M’gann here today, since I’m the only one in the superhero community with experience running a blog. It’s a pleasure to meet you all, even if it isn’t under the most ideal of circumstances...
This is the Justice League’s official tumblr blog! Since our identities were outed, we don’t have to worry about accidently leaking personal information anymore, and we decided to create various social media accounts so our actions are more public and available to everyone, and totally not because if we didn’t, our actions would have to be monitered by the government and none of us want people following us around at all times, or Secretary Ross anywhere close enough to have his eyes on us!! :)
(Scarlet Witch/Wanda just burst out laughing, and she doesn’t have her phone on her, so I think she’s reading my mind, now I know how it feels, but at the same time, I’m glad I made at least one person laugh with that)
If we just post what we’re up to, then we can just refuse to post about when we go to the bathroom unless it’s important, which was a big concern for us all when people following us was first brought up. But that’s besides the point!
This blog will contain all the stuff we’re posting on other social media, so you can just follow us here to get all the tea!
... My uncle just came in to inform me that those of older generations might not know what that means, and that I have to try to not leave anyone out.
‘Tea’ means gossip.
Okay, so starting off this blog with a bang, the entire superhero community (which also includes vigilantes, anti-heroes, and villains, not just superheroes, it’s just quicker to say!) decided to all create twitter accounts to post their name, if their identity was revealed and their civillian name. Now, I don’t know EVERYBODY in the community, so I put in everyone who commented superhero-like stuff on the post. I’m pretty sure that they aren’t real heroes, but it’s better safe than to be rude and exclude people! Besides, I didn’t know about the Defenders half an hour ago until I heard someone in the house exclaim that someone named Daredevil was finally getting media coverage because of this. Apparently a few people in the house were fans of him. __________
Okay, so... You guys weren’t there, but I stopped writing for a few hours to attend a justice league meeting with the avengers and quite a few other people, and here’s what was ultimately decided:
Because we have so many enemies, it isn’t safe for any of us to live alone anymore, so we’ve basically all moved in together? Well, not all of us. Those who had their identities revealed, and those who lived with them, or could have their identities revealed based on everyone else.
For example, Batman had his identity revealed, which, by the way, what???
Bruce WAYNE??
But yeah, Batman had his identity revealed, but Robin didn’t. The new Robin. Not the first one. Nightwing is his eldest son, Dick Grayson. But people can figure it out based on his height. Which, by the way... Bruce has his reasons for letting him into the community, give him some slack. He’s been getting a lot of hate from it. And speaking of Bruce Wayne, it is his manor that we’ve all moved into, since it’s large and has excellent security. I haven’t met his other kids yet, so I don’t know if they already knew their dad was Batman, and their siblings were Nightwing and Robin. I’ll ask them when they show up. __________
Okay, so I left to get food for five minutes, and when I came back, the og JL members were staring at my screen and laughing their heads off while Bruce sat by the side and scowled. So... I’m concerned. If this post never goes up, assume I’m dead.
BUT ANYWAY!!!!!!
I made everyone in the house promise not to read the comments on the original twitter post, and only read them here, as some of us wanted our accounts not to be spammed by their friends. Like, Garfield uses his account to advocate for animal rights, he doesn’t want to constantly respond to other supers’ messages. He’s too busy for that!
The mess on Twitter, as follows: __________
Youonyourphone,situpstraight! @ #1FBIAGENT Plastic Man, aka Patric O’Brian. I was outed, which makes my job VERY interesting now... (read: awkward)
Winged Warrior @ Hawkwoman ✔️ Shayera Hol. I have wings. If  you couldn’t figure out my “civillian identity” by me walking down the street, earth is too dumb to save anymore
r3d @ 70rn4d0 The children chose this name for me. Red Tornado, AKA John Smith.
Green Arrow @ notrobinhood ✔️ Oliver Queen, revealed too... Let’s hope this doesn’t affect STAR labs... Sorry PR department. :/
Adam @ DrStrangeJunior League doctor, last name strange. The avengers already have a doctor strange, and I’m younger than him, hence DrStrangJunior. I never really had a hero identity in the first place, but everyone insists that I’m a part of the group, so... yeah
Big Boy Blue @ TheREalSuperman ✔️ Clark Kent, Kal-el, Superman. Speaking of, why was @ Superman already taken?
Aquaman @ KingOfAtlantis ✔️ Even though I don’t REALLY have a secret identity, I have to do this anyway for some reason? Arthur Curry.
rocket @ PCHOOOOO raquel ervin. rocket. the only reason icon is around so bow down to me. Tim chose my name.
therapist @ capitalsareimportant Black Canary. Dinah Lance-Queen. Betcha Imma bout to lose my job.
take the shot @ harperoy Red Arrow, Will harper, Previously Speedy. I had this @ before... everything
Fastest Man Online @ 2fast2type ✔️ flash, barry allen, dying inside BECAUSEI’MLIVINGINABILLIONAIRE’SHOUSENOWANDTHEREISSOMUCHFOOD
zatanna @ annataz Only one name, Zatanna. That’s both my civillian name and my superhero name, but my stage name SOMEHOW is still a secret??? smh everyone’s blind...
cptnmarvel @ SHAZAM! Captain Marvel. The male one, since apparently I have to say that now?? My identity is still a secret tho!
Themiscyra❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤 @ Wonderous ✔️ Wonder Woman. Princess Diana. However, my Civillian name is Diana Prince __________
Now, The Green Lanterns... Kilowog got an account first, and it didn’t end well... __________
Kilowog @ GreenLanternOFFICIAL ✔️ As one of the Green Lanterns assigned to this sector, I decided to join in on this internet stuff, since it seems so important to everyone on this planet. Kilowog here! Green Lantern.
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ SOMEONE stole @ GreenLanternOFFICIAL  🙄
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ @ GreenLantern1 ???!?!? ONE!?!?! I WAS THE FIRST HUMAN GREEN LANTERN THANK YOU VERY MUCH JOHN!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ It was the first thing I thought of aside from GreenLantenOFFICIAL, don’t yell at me!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ why didn’t you just do GreenLanternJohn instead of stealing what was rightfully mine?
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ Hey, you aren’t the boss of @’s!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ who says I’m not?
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ You’re obviously not!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ but who says?
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ Me!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ but you’re not the boss of me!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ Since when?
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ since i’m your senior!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ I’m older than you!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ i’ve been a green lantern longer!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ That doesn’t matter!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ then if it doesn’t matter, change your name!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ To WHAT?!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ GreenLantern16 or something, i don’t know!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ There aren’t even that many Green Lanterns!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ there are hundreds of us!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ I meant HUMAN Green Lanterns!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ then fucking specify next time? is that so hard?!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ Fuck off, asshole!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ you first!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ That’s not even an insult!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ and yours was?!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ Shut up!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ just change your name and i will!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ You can’t change your @’s, just your user!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ then get a new account!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ That’s a pain though!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ suck it up!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ You’re the one who started all this!
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ you started the argument with Kilowog’s account when he’s not even on the planet anymore!
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ It was a joke! You’re the one who took it seriously!
hey Guys @ GreenLantern ✔️ hey Guys...??
I CAME FIRST! @ OriginalGreenLantern ✔️ ...
John Stewart @ GreenLantern1 ✔️ ... __________
hey Guys @ GreenLantern ✔️ ok so kilowogs off planet, and the others are refusing to use their accounts after the incident where i murdered them both, so im doing their introductions for them
hey Guys @ GreenLantern ✔️ @ GreenLantern1 is john stewart, obviously. @ OriginalGreenLantern is hal jordan, and yeah, he was the first human lantern. and me? the only Guy who had the bright idea of actually checking to see if @ GreenLantern was available like a normal person?
hey Guys @ GreenLantern ✔️ i was off-world when everyone’s identities were revealed, and thus have my secrets!
hey Guys @ GreenLanten ✔️ well, i mean... i didn’t exactly hide it before, so some people might know, but im loving the fact that i kept my identity secret when batman didnt, so i decided to keep it to flaunt that fact to the others. peace out __________
Ro(g)y @ arsenal The OG Roy Harper here. Arsenal. Previously speedy.
Kaldur’ahm @ Aqualad ✔️ My user and @ says it all. I was revealed. Uselessly, but still revealed.
Mygreatestachievementwillbebeingborn @ Impulsive Bart Allen, AKA Impulse. My identity WAS revealed, but good luck finding out who I am. ;-)
Apollo’s Crockpot Sister @ Artemis ✔️ Artemis, AKA Artemis Crock. Now y’all can finally stop asking me about my name.
From Fanboy To @ LagoonBoy L’gann here. Lagoon Boy. I’m green, you should be able to know what my civillian self looks like. It’s not like I can hide.
buzz off @ bumblebee I wasn’t revealed, but... being a superhero would be a suitable excuse for being late to classes... Karen Beecher-Duncan, Bumblebee! (Don’t worry, I discussed revealing myself with the entire league, and they said it was cool)
World’s best dodger and bullshitter @ Guardian Bumbles’ loving husband, Mal Duncan.
hello megan! @ hellom’gann ✔️ M’gann M’orzz AKA Megan Morse AKA Miss Martian. Superboy doesn’t have an account, but also didn’t get his identity leaked (somehow) anyway!!
Wall-Man @ It’sKIDFLASH ✔️ Wally West, Kid Flash. Nice to meet Y’all
Apollo’s Crockpot Sister @ Artemis ✔️ Y’all
Wall-Man @ It’sKIDFLASH ✔️ Okay, you used it just two seconds ago so don’t @ me
Jaime @ ScarabHost ✔️ Jaime Reyes here. Now, the previous blue beetle is in a coma, and has been for years, I’m the new one. I just never had a public enough persona to tell everyone that I’m not just him with a new suit before...
Cassie @ WONDERgirl ✔️ Come to my room @ ScarabHost, I have marshmellos to cheer you up! Yes, you can come too, @ Impulsive  😋
Mygreatestachievementwillbebeingborn @ Impulsive Like you could keep me from food.  😜
Dr. Tony Stark @ youknowwhoiam ✔️ I Am Iron Man
Hawk-ayeeee @ hawkeyeshadow Clint Barton
Brunhilde @ TheLastValkyrie All in the name.
Platypus @ TiredOfTony Col. James Rhodes, AKA War Machine, previously Iron Patriot (Thank goodness)
The Black Panther @ Kingofwakanda ✔️ T’Challa of Wakanda.
godofhammers @ kingofasgard ✔️ I am Thor, son of Frigga
Captain American’t deal @ Steven19 ✔️ Steve Rogers, Captain America.
My Name’s Not Scarlett @ It’s Wanda ✔️ Scarlet Witch
On your above @ FalconPINCH ✔️ Sam Wilson
🅱️lums @ WhiteWolf James “Bucky” Barnes here. Previously Winter Soldier... Sorry.
Toaster @ Eyesight ✔️ Vision Stark.
Dr. Tony Stark @ youknowwhoiam ✔️ I’m crying.
Master Of The Mystic Arts @ DrStephenStrangeMD ✔️ I didn’t change my @ when I got into this world
Fury @ DirectorOfSHIELD ✔️ My name is already there.
Not That Maria @ AssistantDirectorOfSHIELD ✔️ Maria Hill, Assistant Director Of SHIELD
I am Groot @ Multilinguism I am Groot.
PETER NO @ GamoradaughterofABITCH Gamora.
PETER YES @ STARLORDOFFICIAL Peter Quill, Starlord!
Chocolate Works @ WeAreVenom Identity kept, bitches!
Shield Maiden @ LadySif I am Sif.
T’Challa’s babysitter @ GeneralOfWakanda ✔️ I am Okoye.
Logan @ Wolverine ✔️ I would reveal my identity, but I don’t know what it is myself.
Laura @ Wolverine2 ✔️ OMG DAD! You got your memories back, stop making amnesia jokes, they’re lame!
Logan @ Wolverine ✔️ This isn’t Private Messages sweetie
Laura @ Wolverine ✔️ FUCK
DannyRand @ AngstPuppy Iron Fist here!
notthedevil @ kurtthenightcrawler I’m blue, it’s not like I can hide?
Godda go feast @ Quicksilver Pietro Maximoff, Wanda’s twin brother.
Freshuricado @ WakandaHeadOfScience ✔️ Princess Shuri. I don’t have a hero name, but I sometimes fight with gauntlets, so...?
Best Grandma @ Gi-Ant-Man Scott Lang here, also known as Ant-Man!
The Wasp @ HopeVanDyne ✔️ Scott’s better half.
Quill chose my name @ trashpanda Rocket Raccoon. That’s my name, nothing else.
Iron Daughter @ Blueberry My name is Nebula Stark, Gamora’s sister.
Dr. Tony Stark @ youknowwhoiam ✔️ 😭😭😭🥰
bobby @ Iceman So... My identity wasn’t revealed, but... most mutants at the school don’t really hide their identities, so everyone knows who I am here? But I didn’t wanna get left out of the train, so I’m Bobby Drake. AKA Iceman
Unbreakable @ LukeCage I don’t have an alternate name?? Yet my identity was still secret somehow?? (Well, not anymore) I hate everyone’s blindness. No offence to someone though, you know who you are.
Drax @ Drax I am Drax!
Jessica Nones @ AliasInvestigations ✔️ I never hid, but I guess I’m finally advertising.
💚🔪💚@ Iammantis! Hello everyone! I am Mantis!
DIDN’T CHOOSE MY OWN NAME @ ItIsBEN The Thing. Ben Grimm.
NAME WAS GIVEN BY DUMBASS BROTHER @ butiapprove The Invisible Woman. Sue Storm.
CHOSE MY OWN NAME @ FLAMEON The Human Torch. Johnny Storm
My name wasn’t chosen by me @ butitboostsmyego Mr. Fantastic. Reed Richards.
CHOSE MY OWN NAME @ FLAMEON YOU MESSED UP THE CAPITALS ORDER!!!
My name wasn’t chosen by me @ butitboostsmyego SIGH
__________
So, quick note, the next people... Well, I haven’t got any confirmation that they’re ACTUALLY heroes. But I don’t wanna exclude anyone, and they might just be obscure vigilantes that I don’t know about, but they commented on the thread that only heroes were meant to, and it’s not like believing them to be heroes will get me hurt like it would on a mission if they were villains in disguise, so... I’m just going to trust them this time! __________
Anathema @ Device I’m Anathema Device, and I’ll be doing the technology side for Crowley, Aziraphale, and Newton Pulsifer.
Adam @ DEATHJR Kids of the Armageddon’t, unite! (Except Warlock, cuz he didn’t actually save anything) Adam Young here.
Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR Brian here! (My mum says I can’t give out my last name until I hit 18, sorry for the lack of syncronity...)
Adam @ DEATHJR (It’s all cool Brian, not your fault!)
Cuz common sense is the rarest resource @ FAMINEJR Well, most of us can unite, anyway... I miss Pep, even if she had a weird name that I’m pretty sure was fake, looking back on our childhood.
MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR You wanna go, Wensly?
Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR YOU’RE ALIVE?!!
MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR Yeah, I’ll DM you three my number so we can catch up.
Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR Is it really her though?
Adam @ DEATHJR Well, you DID forget to put your name down Wensly. Nice to see you again Pep!
Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR But they could have just hacked your computer?
Adam @ DEATHJR If she did that, she would have called him Wenslydale, not just Wensly. She knew better.
Cuz common sense is the rarest resource @ FAMINEJR One way to find out. @ WARJR, say you’re name to us all within the next five minutes!
MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR Pippin Galadriel Moonchild, Pleb. Bow down to your missing member.
Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR OMG, I’m legit crying you guys...
Cuz common sense is the rarest resource @ FAMINEJR IT REALLY IS YOU!
Adam @ DEATHJR Glad to know you’re safe and sound, Pep. 🖤
MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR Puh-lease. You really think *I* could keep out of trouble?
Adam @ DEATHJR Glad to know you’re sound, Pep. 🖤
MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR Glad to be sound, Antichrist! 🖤 Still haven’t learnt what safety is tho... :P
Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR Pepper? Living a calm enough life to be SAFE? Wouldn’t dream of it. 🖤
Cuz common sense is the rarest resource @ FAMINEJR Send me your number so I can cry while hearing your voice 🖤
MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR Sure, it’s in your DMs now, and Wensleydale? You were right. “Pippin Galadriel Moonchild” isn’t my real name.
Cuz common sense is the rarest resource @ FAMINEJR FUCKEN CALLED IT!
Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR WAIT WHAT?!
Adam @ DEATHJR THEN WHY DID THE TEACHERS CALL YOU PEPPER TOO??!?
MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR Think that’s bad? Remember how all that Stuff™ went down when we all were 11? Lies, I was 9.
Cuz common sense is the rarest resource @ FAMINEJR BUT YOU WERE IN OUR CLASS
Adam @ DEATHJR WHAT THE HOME PEP?!
Pestilance? @ POLLUTIONJR HOW DID THE TEACHERS LET YOU TWO GRADES ABOVE WERE YOU REALLY THAT SMART??
MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR OF COURSE I WAS YOU ASS! But nah... I ran away from home, hitchhiked, skipped the county, forged my ma’s signature to put me up for adoption, stole some adoption papers, and placed them on the mayor’s desk filled in, and as far as anyone was aware, I was now the daughter of the local hippie
MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR I picked “Pippin Galadriel Moonchild” as my name because I was a massive nerd.
Adam @ DEATHJR THERE IS SO MUCH TO UNPACK IN THAT I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN, WHAT THE FUCK PEP?!?!?
MY NAME IS AWESOME, FIGHT ME @ WARJR I’m an agent of Chaos.
Two Seconds Away From Giving Up @ JERomY Kid... __________
This thread wasn’t important, but... I just found it heartwarming that they found eachother after assuming Pepper was dead, and I found it funny. __________
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL Okay, I have convinced all of the team to say their name and position. I even managed to get everyone to get matching Team Names, and put their superpower as their user! Only those with identities revealed will have to say their name, however.-OGLB
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL This account is run by two different ladybugs. If you don’t see a signature at the end of a post, it’s Bugette, the current Ladybug. If you do, it’s me, the last Ladybug. -OGLB
Cataclysm @ ChatNoirOFFICIAL My identity is still secret, suckers!
Like I’d tell you @ RenaRougeOFFICIAL Rude. Alya cesaire. I’m a retired hero, but doing my best every day to be once again worthy to wield a miraculous. I doubt it would be the same, however, as @ NeurofoxinOFFICIAL is a much better fox than I am it seems.
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL DM me -OGLB
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL Alya! You were meant to put your special power in the user! :(
Like I’d tell you @ RenaRougeOFFICIAL I was going to, but then Viperion pointed out to me that our powers were too obvious by our special power name, and that the two of us in particular needed others to not be aware of what we can do to make us all safer.
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL That is a very sound judgement! I’m glad you thought ahead and made the wise deciscion!
Your new goth gf @ NeurofoxinOFFICIAL Rena, you’re a better fox than me, it just seems like that due to self-doubt. You are more suited to the fox than I am, it’s just that the fox is needed that I am even a holder at all. WHEN you get back on the team, I’ll either be retired or given another miraculous instead. I just have the better name.
SHELLter @ CarapaceOFFICIAL Not gonna say my name, but it’s pretty obvious if you pay attention, so just like... watch if you wanna know?
Chloé Bourgeois @ QueenBeeOFFICIAL ✔️ I used to be the best holder of the Bee Miraculous, but I gave it up to @ HoneyBeeOFFICIAL, and they are acceptable.
Wenom, uwu @ HoneyBeeOFFICIAL Thank you Chloé! I couldn’t ask for a better predecessor!
Chloé Bourgeois @ QueenBeeOFFICIAL ✔️ You are most welcome, HoneyBee!
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL Uhmm... Chloé? You were meant to put your power in the user, not your name. And everyone knows what you can do, so there’s no point hiding it from everyone. -OGLB
Chloé Bourgeois @ QueenBeeOFFICIAL ✔️ You misunderstand, Ladybug. As Chloé Bourgeois, I am well known for being rich and famous.
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL And? -OGLB
Chloé Bourgeois @ QueenBeeOFFICIAL ✔️ Being rich IS my superpower.
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL SMH -OGLB
BRB, Got sword homework @ RyukoOFFICIAL @ QueenBeeOFFICIAL @ HoneyBeeOFFICIAL I am Ryuko. While the previous Hawkmoth knew my identity, the new one does not. So I will remain in the shadows, as it is now safe for me to do so and wield once more.
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL I thought we all agreed to put our powers in our users!!
BRB, Got sword homework @ RyukoOFFICIAL My skill with a blade is much more beneficial than my power over storms, I thought it more prudent to use the talent that I actually worked for. Besides, @ ChatNoirOFFICIAL sent me a meme, and it was enough to make me laugh in front of my mother, so I decided to use it.
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL DM me about how she reacted...
Miraculous @ LadybugOFFICIAL ^Same, and Chat, stop spamming our inboxes with memes! -OGLB
Pls don’t need me so I have to use it... @ ViperionOFFICIAL I am the Aforementioned Viperion. And yes, my weapon IS what you think it is. No-one knows who I am as of right now.
Your new goth gf @ NeurofoxinOFFICIAL My identity is a secret but my name is Neurofoxin.
Creation @ Ladybug Tikki here! The current active kwamis are going to sound off. Our usernames will be what we are the kwami of, and our @ s will be what animal we represent!
The ORIGINAL @ Catwoman Plagg here.
Creation @ Ladybug PLAGG!
The ORIGINAL (Destruction, THERE, HAPPY TIKKI!?!?) @ Catwoman UGH!
Avatar @ Fire Nation Dragon Well, since Plagg already broke the rules... Longg here. And I am technically not exactly breaking the rules..
Creation @ Ladybug See what you’ve caused?!
Emotional @ Peacock Duusu here!! :D
Intuition @ sassysnake Sass here.
Timey-Wimey @ BunnyIsLate Goodbye and Hello! I am Fluff, and I won’t be active on twitter often unless I will.
Trixx @ FoxyLad Technically, I’m also following the rules. 😎
;) @ Multiplication I know I just put my special ability down, but if I put my animal representative down (rat) I’ll ruin the joke... Mullo here.
Subjection @ Busylittleworkerbee I feel like I’m one of the few that still actually listens to Tikki... Pollen, at your service!
Y’all better be rich if you talk to me @ TransportationTeleportationHorse Just providing a friendly warning... Kaalki here, and I only interact with the best.
Protection @ Turtle Wayzz here, feeling like a fool since I decided following Tikki’s rule was a good idea. __________
These two groups seem like they work together? Or they’re both coincidently animal-themed, and I’m making connections when there are none. The next few are seemingly one-off people! __________
Caroline @ GLaDOS While I never saved the world myself, I saved the life of someone who did, and that should count for something.
Refined Pig @ Waddles ✔️ ((I know this is an account for my pet pig, but the creator of this account, me, has saved the world, and Waddles was there, along with my brother, @ ConspiracyTheorist))
The government isn’t the only one hiding the truth @ ConspiracyTheorist ✔️ You make me sound like a sidekick like I didn’t save your behind multiple times.
Danny Phantom’s cousin @ CALLHIMINVISOBILL Dani Phantom here! I save Amity Park, plus the world, and I’m cute to boot!
Red @ Huntress @ CALLHIMINVISOBILL is my sidekick, ignore her.
Danny Phantom’s cousin @ CALLHIMINVISOBILL Rude!
Danny PHANTOM @ GhostKingOFFICIAL ✔️ DON’T CALL ME INVISO-BILL
Danny Phantom’s cousin (Ghost Princess?) @ CALLHIMINVISOBILL You love me! 💙💚
Danny PHANTOM @ GhostKingOFFICIAL ✔️ I know you are using those for the color aesthetic, but I hope you know the blue heart represents loyalty, because you have absolutely none of that for me.
Danny Phantom’s cousin (Ghost Princess?) @ CALLHIMINVISOBILL True... How’d you even find this account anyway?
Danny PHANTOM @ GhostKingOFFICIAL ✔️ I know better than to not keep an eye on you. I’ve known for months. __________
And that’s all for now! I know we’re missing some, like Batman and my uncle, but they should be on by tomorrow. An update will be posted then!
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trujellyfish · 4 years ago
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im really bored and my friends are unresponsive (its chill) so obviously the only solution is to overshare on the internet
anyway love how the last time i saw my dad he told me to feel free to jump out the second story window (he was mocking me for my history of suicidal thoughts)
and also how he commented on my jaundiced eyes, insinuating that I would probably die of liver failure soon. my eyes just have a yellow tinge around the edges, i’ve been tested, its fine. but yknow, nice to know he cares lmao
oh or that time i decided i’d had enough and abandoned my whole family in favour of homelessness and he called me, sobbing about how sorry he was and then saying “i want to claw your mother’s face off” as if it wasn’t that attitude that prompted the leave in the first place
haha and when he likened cutting ur wrists to mountain climbing he’s like “i see why people might want to do that, to test their limits” like no bitch i was cutting bc im depressed as fuck
or when i called him from a payphone at 13 years old bc i had forgotten to bring bus fare with me and didnt have a cell phone and it was like 10pm and i was like “look i fucked up and i dont know what to do” and he said, verbatim bc of course i remember exactly what happened a decade later, it fucking traumatized me
“guess you better FIGURE IT OUT” *line goes dead, kinda like how my heart stopped in that moment*
yknow, instead of coming out to pick me up or gently making sure i at least knew how to get back or saying “grab a taxi we’ll pay for it” no no, just leave ur 13 year old daughter in her school uniform to travel across the whole ass city on her own
took me like 2 and a half hours to get home; i got lost more than once. man never even left the house, my uncle ended up being the one to pick me up from the bus station i had made it to
or when i was going to therapy and he usurped my fucking therapist to a point where she started asking me about HIS mental health during our sessions (fuck that bitch too tho)
after one session he picked me up and asked what we talked about and I said i didnt want to talk about it so he said “i could just ask her” and my brain went “uuuuuuuuh” while my mouth went “doctor-patient confidentiality” and he fucking said “That’s not real.” what a fucking DICK
like bro im sorry about your mental breakdown but like what the fuck am i supposed to do about it im your kid and you refuse to listen to me
you’ve been manipulating and controlling me my whole ass life, i dont even know how to handle my own mental breakdowns what the flying shit fuck am i supposed to do about yours
but of course im caught in a fucking rut of remembering all this bullshit and then being like “oh but he must be so sad and scared and alone :(” and part of me is like fucking GOOD!!!! but it’s also like does anyone really deserve that? like how many other homeless people are in that exact situation? like he deserves help and everything but fuck he sure as fuck aint getting it from me
but the fucking 13yo thing!!!!! i mentioned that the last time i saw him then he sent out an email and was like “i dont remember that but i guess im sorry” like bitch?????? u dont remember the most traumatizing night of my life?? get fucked!!!!
(cue twitter pic of “of course u dont remember it was just a regular tuesday for you” except it was actually a wednesday, i looked it up)
and i just keep thinking about more and more ways im traumatized like how i expect men to just start screaming at the smallest inconvenience bc that’s all i’ve ever known and then i dont know how to handle ppl genuinely being patient and honest with me
or how i hate presents bc theyve left such a sour taste in my mouth bc there were always strings attached so i dont like getting ppl presents bc like what if they think im just manipulating them
(but also i have big sugar daddy energy and i like getting my friends random presents like food or those sunglasses they really liked bc its just so cute to see how happy they get?? but then i have to joke about it later like “haha remember when i bought u lunch? now its ur turn” but im never serious!! i just dont know how to process this shit other than turning it into a joke)
anyway i dont think i’ve fully exhausted myself of my emotions yet but i think that’s enough oversharing for one day
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ca1e70-deactivated · 5 years ago
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a list of my entirely way too niche headcanons ive actually implemented for everyones imagination:
name options ive used and refuse to retire: david elizabeth strider (sometimes i dont feel like being a douche to others and saying thats not his name), harley davidson strider, and david james strider for the sake of simplicity
im not gonna tell yall the like. oc exes ive given him bc thatll take eighteen years. 
i dont rlly have an explanation on the ghost thing besides the fact he just can? ive occasionally pulled from family ghost stories and experiences bc i somehow got landed with family members who lived in a haunted house for a decade and enjoy scaring me with all the stories (including the time my cousin literally died on the kitchen floor from a bronchial spasm and one of the friends that was over asked my aunt later what was up with the old man she saw in the corner of the room that night - my cousin is fine btw shes just a huge bitch and a third grade teacher and i dont like her)
whether or not hes done drugs is based on absolutely nothing besides how im feeling in that moment. either hes the designated driver and sober friend forever or he got fired from his job after doing a line at work during graveyard with some random customers theres no inbetween (this absolutely happened @ waho. if dave works at waho hes a mess of a person and thats on the diner itself.)
ok look i hc dave w/schizophrenia besides when i was 14 i had a hyperfixation with learning about it and then at 16 was prescribed a medication and had side effects so wack my therapist genuinely thought 14 yr old me was onto something and its a weird way to cope with the idea that lady put in my head that i might “develop it in my twenties” which i turn 20 this year and i havent been able to stop obsessing and panicking over the prospect so PLEASE dont come in my inbox calling me ableist im not out here all harley quinn in suicide squad with the voices ok hes medicated, he goes to therapy, the hard fast delusion that lil cal was nearly sentient and informed bro of every single thing dave did no matter how asinine it was is no longer a debilitatingly affecting him ANYWAYS
i actually use the chicken/egg farming family pretty often just because its hilarious to me to give dave like. an actual mom and dad. hes literally an uncle to like three different kids he just never visits because they make fun of his skinny jeans and he hates one of his (incredibly bare-bones ocs all of them) brothers who threatened to bash his head in with a little league bat after dave broke his star wars lego set apart on accident (but not rlly) so their parents were like “why dont you stay with your brother in the big city for a lil while champ” and then they just never picked him back up? and thats on favoritism 
the other one is that his name is actually david reed and hes the middle child of a family of three who literally live the standard golden retriever white middle class life only they went to disney land or something equally as dumb one year when dave was like 6 and he wandered off so bro literally just went “huh free game” because frankly he was an idiot who thought maybe i should take this kid home because its real dangerous in parking lots and then it was too late to NOT have it seem like a kidnapping and thats why daves never had a summer job, seen his birth certificate, or gone to school. but vaguely remembers what kindergarten was like and having a pet dog and calling someone mom as a kid. 
im not making a bullet point about his sex life headcanons just use your imagination and acknowledge the fact bro essentially worked within the sex industry and i enjoy putting dave through trauma as a catharsis 
i stopped doing this one usually but if he did go to school hes been in percussion since fifth grade and played the drums in his high schools jazz band as well as various edgy teenager garage bands he likes to pretend dont have a youtube presence and that hes absolutely never been shirtless in front of plenty of his classmates because he wore a hoodie to a show like an idiot. idk occasionally ill put him in an actual band he doesnt hate but keeps separate from his lil turntechGodhead internet persona (which i will ALSO touch upon in a sec) until they wind up getting looped into a tour with some bigger named band that has a show in *insert beta kid here*’s city and hes gotta come clean solely so he can visit his online friend. sorry derseasterous thats the one time weve ever run into each other and i made him have a crush on one of his bandmates i was in my anti-daverose phase where i made dave a hoe and also didnt want to admit i still loved the ship all these years later 
i hate it so much but you know the whole vr loli trap voice shit that was popular a while ago? hes fucking baller at it for some reason. he did it as a joke while talking to bro and they both about shat their pants. if im feeling real ambitious, hes got a separate soundcloud solely dedicated to doing dumbass rap covers or making his own but in the voice under the pseudonym elizabeth “beth” davids that he will never admit is his. well, he will, but hes gonna be really fucking embarrassed about it. irony or not.
talking abt seperate soundclouds and stuff ive always had it where turntechGodhead was his like. essentially internet fucking persona facade shit he used because we all had that phase where we wanted memorable urls and stuff but also didnt want to totally ignore the nagging fear of people finding you in real life, until it turned into real life ppl finding you on the internet. so he also has basically an adjacent set of social media under the same name but its just a boring username i havent decided on so everyone he knows irl doesnt mix up with what hes made for himself as TG and the people he knows as TG dont know what highschool he goes to. (this occasionally comes with the territory of ppl on parp being pissed that daves “lying” or “hiding things” from his friends as if he was doing it out of spite instead of just keeping embarrassing tagged photos and videos from football games or when he ate shit at the skatepark from fucking with his “rap career”)
every once in a while i get on a kick where hes just german. like, i just replace houston texas with hamburg germany and have him apply to a university in whatever state is applicable for whoever im chatting with and it goes from there? sometimes he moved when he was little and went through the whole visa thing, sometimes he didnt go through the visa thing, sometimes hes a dual citizen because of family and shit, its all dependent on what suits the situation best. 
one that ive been fucking with for a while but hardly break out (until recently with like 5 roses in the span of one day hell yeah) is that he has a neighbor at the end of the hall who is like a thousand year old witch lady that hes basically adopted as his mother figure in lieu of not having one and shes totally cool with it, especially bc when she kicks the bucket she fully plans on giving dave all her occult stuff so her figure-skating coach and realtor daughter doesnt sell it at a garage sale and lets it all go to waste. she also once brought rose up by name in a conversation without any prompting of her existence which dave didnt realize for days, and then one time cryptically stopped and stared at an empty space in the wall, went “she has potential, you know.” then looked at him sitting on her kitchen counter with a smile “lots of it” and hes thought about that weekly ever since. (it is important to note one of the occult items he leaves her is literally her own personal book of shadows shes been filling out for decades its like a 600 page leatherbound book dave has no idea what its used for but the sheer amount of homemade spells and etc in it is like. gonna murder rose the second this chick gets her hands on it i promise you.)
theres the standard strife shit? im not rlly gonna get into those theyre all basically cookie cutter bullshit. its just standard bro and dave abuse talk. i like to inclulde the whole 24hr live cam up in the apartment that definitely watches dave in every room besides his own and the bathroom, but that quickly delves into the prospect of middle-aged men stalking him online and basically sexually harassing him in his own god damn home by talking about how they can see him just trying to take his shoes off in the living room after getting home and frankly? its not one of my best takes! but once you throw it into the headcanon bin, its there forever. 
he actually really does do something with his photography but not enough to warrant anything exciting, but he has his own branding for it and regularly takes pictures of his friends or anything else he thinks is moderately interesting enough to take pictures of, but those are just thrown into shoeboxes under his bed in favor of posting genuine shots because he wants to keep his image intact and blurry photos of jade smiling in the tree they climbed up together while bec paws at the base of it while whining isnt exactly something he wants the whole world to see.
i also pretty often but him into either paleontology OR i put him down as trying to become a mortician because he thinks handing roadkill once he graduated from museum giftshop specimens to doing his own taxidermy on the side has prepared him enough to perform an occasional autopsy and start embalming real human corpses. (sometimes i put my own desires in and make them his bc i have to project at some point and put him through the same EMT course i dropped out of bc it was one semester and he already has pretty decent first aid skills, but he definitely didnt expect it to be as fucking wild at times as it is, but whats he gonna do? get a job back at waffle house? the company hes working for just offered to pay like half his associates in paramedicine tuition and hes already got all his pre-recs done when he started for paleo. at least its a stable job and hes got the ability to be compassionate in the moment) 
im running out of things that ive done to the poor kid. OH 
hes not a virgin he had a girlfriend all four years of high school (shes also one of his optional and designated exes plz keep up) and their relationship ends in one of two ways: she dies in a car accident a week before their high school graduation, or she stops talking to him entirely a week after their high school graduation until a couple years later she gets into (guess what) a car accident with her current wife/girlfriend and dies which leaves behind their daughter. who just so happens to also be daves daughter. her name is hannah and i love her like my own but no one ever likes her and thats on the conditioning of dirk. does dave end up taking her in? yes. shes awesome and the first time he takes her to the park to like run off some fucking steam she disappears for two minutes and dave is moderately terrified until she comes back holding a dead baby squirrel and thats the moment he realizes huh maybe things really do be genetic.
ok at the bottom of the list im gonna add the couple of times hes been a camboy which usually coincides with the live apartment cam thing and the amount of people in his dms calling him hot or whatever, but typically its more of a started the day he turned 18 and basically dipped around 20 in favor of showing up randomly with no warning to complain about a video game dick in hand because it gives him an outlet that wont annoy his friends bc this is the fifteenth time hes had a lot to say this week about a certain boss battle and also the comments fuel his ego and daddy issues.
the last one wasnt the bottom but literally unless its explicitly proven otherwise every time anyone rps with me there is the underlying fact dave strider was a goalie on his high school lacrosse teams all four years and (shocker another one) definitely had the hots for one of his teammates like major hots like first gay experience hots. like it was painfully obvious that teammate also liked him back hots. like one night at a team sleepover one of the other guys was like can yall just makeout and get it over with were fucking tired and dave really had the balls to be offended and ask what the fuck they were talking about while literally sitting halfway in the mans lap bc for some reason they had to share the same chair. 
he is also guilty until proven innocent of being the worlds biggest loner outside of that sports team and even though hes literally a jock he still opts to eat his lunch alone in the hallway or something like that and has a tendency to leave girls on read, but bc hes got an in with the rest of the jocks hes basically drug around to plenty of parties and since hes conventionally attractive enough and popular in the aloof way that he is, hes got plenty of tagged insta posts and twitter directs and snapchat streaks going. 
THESE WERE ALL NO GAME AND DONT INVOLVE SHIPS BC I LIKE TO KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN AND THEYRE LITERALLY ALL BASED OFF RPS IVE DONE I HOPE YALL JUDGE ME ACCORDINGLY
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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years ago
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in holt's voice: Pain. That's it.
Today hasn't been the best but HEY I HAD THESE PRECIOUS BABIES TO KEEP MY COMPANY
He looked exhausted like he hadn’t slept at all.
alec...
I'm already sad and ready to murder
the baby...
David had never lost someone he loved.
this is fucking foreshadowing isn't it
But real strength was not in surviving the presence of pain. Real strength was in suviving the absence of love.
despite the chaos I'm glad to see these two interacting
The Consul leaned back in his chair and ran his hand through his beard. David had to admit, he looked damn good with it. Even if it made him seem even more intimidating than before.
yes boy YES
it's really hard not to smile right now but my camera is on and im supposed to be finding meanings of foreign words based on my own knowledge so-
JACKSON
“Max is too old for me to tell him what he is and isn’t allowed to do,” the Consul said – although he didn’t sound very happy about it.
MY TEACHER ASKED ME THE FIRST QUESTION IM LOSING MY SHIT
It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay.
let's hope so
Facts and figures, babe, Max had kissed his cheek last night. Dad likes facts and figures.
deep breathes
it'll be ok
“You’ve done your research,” the Consul nodded. There was a hint of approval in his voice that made David want to do a cartwheel.
AWWWW
“I’d like to take care of the New York institute,” David said now. “Because Jace Herondale and Clary Fairchild took care of me.”
And for the first time that evening, the Consul smiled. David wanted to burst into song.
AHHHH
this is beautiful
David couldn’t help but find that endearing. He wondered what it felt like to be loved like that. He wondered what it felt like to have a father like that – a father who couldn't stop loving his child even for a moment.
A love that was endless and tireless.
Every time he was in the presence of the Lightwood-Bane family he was reminded of what he had lost and what every child deserved.
It made him sad.
But then he would remember. He would remember that Max had grown up knowing nothing but this. Max had grown up with nothing but love.
It made him happy.
alright come here let me hug you
UHUHSCUICDUH "Why do you not like me"
“I know I worry too much about Max,” the Consul said, his smile sad now. “But I can only worry now. I won’t always be there to worry over him.”
it's 9 am boy
THESE TWO REALLY BE ASKING THE TRUE QUESTIONS
"Why are you scared of me" HSUHYUKDUMKDS WELL YOU SEE-
all we can really do is replace the bad memories with happier ones...
“No,” the Consul said, and David’s heart almost stopped. “I mean, of course I care. But I don’t have to be hard on you to show you that I do. There are many ways to show people we care about them without hurting them.”
David thought of his father then. He remembered the way his father had drawn the agony rune on his wrist and promised him it was because he loved David and wanted him to be strong. The memory hurt.
Jace and Clary bestest
“I’m sorry for whatever I did to intimidate you,” the Consul apologized.
that is so alec oh my god 😭
David looked him in the eye. “You’re Alec Lightwood.”
The man looked confused. “Is that supposed to mean something?
I'm smiling so much right now because yeah
yeah I get what he's saying
David hadn’t known that boys were allowed to kiss other boys – not until he heard about Alec Lightwood’s Accords Hall kiss.
David hadn’t known fairy tales existed outside of books - not until he heard about Alec Lightwood adopting a warlock baby with Magnus Bane.
David hadn’t known love can literally change the world – not until he heard about Alec Lightwood changing the world for the man he loved.
don't make me cry during linguistics
“Well,” the Consul chuckled. “To be entirely honest, I did all of that for Magnus.”
as he should
“Everything I have ever done has always been for Magnus,” the Consul said, his voice oddly soft.
we're talking about some wall in class and im here trying not to cry
my teacher just asked why some of us have our cameras off WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY
“I don’t want to be a hero,” David confessed honestly. “I just thought if I ran away to a city full of heroes, they would protect me if someone tried to hurt me again.”
“What’s that?” the Consul frowned, pointing at his neck.
By the angel! David was going to have words with Max when he saw him again.
“Uh,” David said. “Mosquito bite.”
AHHHHHHHH MOSQUITO BITE
“Do you remember when Izzy got attacked by a demon in Edom?”
“And you drank my blood,” the Consul rolled his eyes.
“Aw,” the Dean of the Academy chuckled. “You do remember.”
poor David is stuck between them talking like this IM SCREAMING
He remembered the way Consul had blamed himself when Max had found the spoils room at the York Institute. The way he had believed he should have done better when his eldest son had been traumatized by foul rumours of the Clave.
oh honey no
There were people who got mad at themselves when things went wrong.
There were people who got mad at everyone around them when things went wrong.
While Alec Lightwood was the former, his son and David’s boyfriend, was definitely the latter.
I'm definitely both
“It wasn’t your fault,” David spoke up then. “When bad things happen to people, it’s because of the people who did those bad things. We shouldn’t atone for someone else’s sins.”
“Yeah. Stop atoning, dude,” the Dean said chuckled. “Listen to the boy.”
YES EVERYONE LISTEN TO DAVID
“And be careful,” the Consul said, his tone a little different now.
“I will keep an eye on-”
“No,” the Consul said and pointed at the hickey on David’s neck. “With Max. Be careful.”
David was pretty sure his face on fire.
OH MY GOD
IM SHAKING
“Um, we have the internet,” David pointed out.
The Consul blinked. “Right. Of course. The internet.”
yes
ao3 and Wattpad
KIDS DON'T GO ON THESE WEBSITES AT 11 JUST DO NOT
“If he gives you a hard time, don’t give up,” the man whispered like it was a secret. “You just need to weasel your way into his life.”
David chuckled. “Is that what you did?”
yup
“Yeah, and then he had the audacity to get accidentally get drunk and confess his love in the middle of the night.”
AWW SHE'S TELLING GIGI ABOUT THEIR PAST
“I did have a latte,” her mother said with a straight face.
Georgia didn’t find that funny.
I almost said "BECAUSE IT'S NOT FUNNY" before I realized that is exactly what I would've said
She knew her mother, like so many other people in her life, preferred to use humour to cope with the pain. They preferred to hide their pain away from other people.
Georgia never understood why people did that. Did they think others didn’t know what pain felt like? Everyone was in pain all the time – some kind of it at least. Everyone knew how to cope with it. So, it made more sense to share it than to carry it all by yourself.
i...I never look at it that way
Apparently, hand holding had special healing abilities at times like this.
yeah it really does
Georgia had hoped to find out herself. She had wondered so much about the baby.
tears. literal tears
It didn’t matter that Georgia had wanted to name the baby Abigail after the first iron sister. It didn’t matter that her father wanted to name the baby Jonathan to piss off Uncle Jace.
Abigail Jonathan Lightwood-Lovelace
FUCK OFF AND LET ME CRY IN PEACE
People said that poison was a coward’s weapon. But Georgia didn’t think so. It wasn’t easy to make poison. It wasn’t easy sneak it into the right place at the right time.
Whoever did this, they were not cowards. They were smart and they should be feared.
yeah, what did happen during the trial?
uh is Selena ok?
like genuinely
is she just a very heavy sleeper or...
MARYSE
Because sometimes the only comfort you needed was your mom.
yeah...
Except for random parts of the house that were incredibly organized – a sign Uncle Jace had been there
Yup.
“I’m staying in New York, mom. I’m going to help Selena and the centurions find out who did this to me,” her mother said, her words a promise. “And once I do, I’m going to strangle them with my whip.”
Yes you will
Anjali and Rafe
please be ok. please
HOW ABOUT WE DO A TRADE
ZARA'S LIFE FOR ANJALI'S 😄
ok I know that's not how it works but IM DESPERATE
her bedroom seems amazing though
Rafael gave so much shit to his dad because the other man had the habit of watching his husband sleep.
But now he sort of understood the fascination.
AWWWWW
“You do ballet?” he asked, holding up the ballet shoes.
slightly reminds me of rosa
OK WHO AM I KIDDING SHE TOTALLY DOES
the red binder
it's fucking genius
David can keep his flowers and cookies and scarves.
This, what he held in his hands right now, was the best thing anyone could ever give him. A file full of reforms to make the clave better.
IM SCREAMING
“You think I want to die and leave the Council in your cishet hands?”
YES BESTIE
“I don’t care what the Clave needs,” Rafael snapped, and Anjali momentarily looked taken aback. “I need you.”
he needs her
FUCK IT TIME TO CRY
“Bulgaria is known as the land of roses,” Rafael told her. “The Sofia Institute is built in the middle of a rose garden.”
“Oh,” Anjali’s eyes momentarily softened. “I like roses.”
you know that tiktok trend? the one which goes "listen it's a good joke it's a great joke even but i need you to stop" or smth like that?
yeah
His hand was itching to reach out and hold hers. So, he did just that. He reached out – very carefully – and took her hand in his own.
“I need you to get better, Anjali,” he whispered. “Cause I would very much like to take you there.”
HAND HOLDING
no she's not becoming a vampire
The part that was the shadowhunter – which told him she didn’t deserve to die over some angelic mishap.
The part that was the future Consul – which told him he needed Anjali on his side.
The part that was a Lightwood-Bane – which told him he should never give up fighting.
And then there was the part that was Rafael – just Rafael.
It told him he had to save his heart – no matter the consequences.
we're talking about some powerplant in geography and I'm crying over this
Anjali please please don't die
“Not everything,” Rafael told her. “I know someone who can help.”
WHO
GIVE ME A NAME
“Well, now we don’t know that for sure!” Max grinned. “Who knows what they get up to? Maybe there is someone occasional boning in the bone city.”
“How does manage to get more insufferable every time I meet him?” Jackson demanded.
i...never looked at it that way
OH JACKSON IS BECOMING A SILENT BROTHER
Max grinned widely at the other boy. “You wanna be my immortal buddy, Jack-Jack?”
OOP-
“The boys are back” he yelled, hugging David and Jackson. “Ty, our boys are back! Yas! The London Boys are back!”
THE LONDON BOYS
“Okay it’s a little disrespectful when you call her by the same name you call me,” Max pointed out.
“True,” Jackson nodded. “Irene shouldn’t be disrespected like that.”
YUYZXYSCGYZCGYUCUIZCVUH SCREAMING
"It’s hard being a celeb,” Max sighed dramatically.
“He is referring to the chaos you unleashed the last time you went there,” Jackson rolled his eyes. “People still remember you.”
“I’m memorable. It’s not my fault,” Max shrugged.
Max no more gambling bestie
“If the assassination attempt on Magnus had been successful, we wouldn’t be sitting and talking like this,” Kit pointed out. “The nephilim and downworlders would be at war.”
As they should. No one hurts Magnus
“So the target isn’t just Magnus Bane?” Jackson asked.
“Possibly,” Ty nodded. “The Consul and his husband…They are the ones who united the shadow world – with the Alliance. With their marriage. So, it’s not surprising that someone – seelie or not – wants to break it all down.”
with every line, I get closer to a breakdown
“There are people all around me to protect me from demons and crazy assassins,” Max smiled. “But you…You protect me from myself. So, don’t give me that I’m not good at protecting bullshit.”
so precious...
“Now let’s go find out which dumbass thought it would be a good idea to try and kill Magnus Fucking Bane.”
i have a few torture methods in mind
If shadowhunters couldn’t fight demons, it would put both downworlders and mundanes in danger. His father’s Clave – small as it was – did their best to keep the demons at bay. They were the only thing keeping the shadow world safe from demons.
Ikr?? Like David said earlier Alec's clave is literally the one doing the actual shadowhunting.
“Jackson is incredibly smart and perceptive. He knows what is good for him, David. He chose you to be his best friend. He has accepted that his family is gone for good and is finally focusing on his future. If this is what he wants to do and if this is who he wants to be, then you should trust that he has thought this through. He wouldn’t have chosen this life if he thought he wouldn’t be happy with it.”
TRUE
ALRIGHT WHO TF IS BEHIND ALL THIS
i just want to talk 🙂
“Great,” Max said, feeling frustrated. “So, someone created a fancy new poison just to kill my parents.”
“They did say something else,” Kit said, his tone worried. “The poison…It’s not entirely made of demonic properties.”
“Oh?” David said.
“It’s a mixture of angelic and demon properties,” Ty Blackthorn said. “And we know that-”
“Seelies,” Max whispered. “They have both angel and demon blood.”
Is anyone else scared?
GASP
WHAT IF
It's an angel and prince of hell working together?
ok that seems highly unlikely
“I don’t think you have a choice, bud,” Kit giggled. “Mina will have your head if you don’t get married. She has been working on a Pinterest board for years now.”
KIT
KIT
WHAT THE FUCK
OH MY GOD KIT
NO NO NO
HE CAN'T BE DEAD
NO FUCK NO
I'm absolutely loving all this angst so much. You said chapter 9 was the most angsty and frankly I can't wait :p
now...IF KIT AND ANJALI DIE I WILL BE VERY VERY SAD but the angst potential with Anjali though...NOPE NOPE NOPE. MY GIRL'S GONNA BE INQUISITOR I KNOW SHE WILL.
AHHHHHH THIS CHAPTER WAS A LOT LMAO.
I love how you are complaining but also thirsting for angst yall crazy.
I hope you are taking care of yourself and working on your entry for the competition!!!!!
Also the "we're talking about some wall in class" killed me lmao I laughed so hard fdhvjd.
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